Beagle added to Chinese restaurant menus

Funny story written by Kid Savage

Friday, 15 February 2008

image for Beagle added to Chinese restaurant menus
A jedi dog cries out for the loss of his brethren

Chinese restaurants are rushing to add Beagle to their menus after Uno captured the hearts of fans at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show this week, figuring there will be an upswing in requests for the happy, playful breed.

"It's really hard to predict the market," said the owner of New York City's Gang Pow Chowder House. "But if people want Beagle, I can't very well tell them no. Somebody's got to serve Beagle in this city, so it might as well be me."

Gang Pow has already added two new breeds to the menu -- Yorkshire terriers have been used in Yorkshire pie and Chihuahuas have gone into the spicy Chinese taco -- this year, but Uno's Westminster victory was unexpected and caught many restaurateurs off-guard. Now they're scrambling to find a quality Beagle supplier.

"The hunter now becomes the hunted," Gang Pow chuckled.

Gang Pow wasn't sure how he'd prepare the new meat, but thought he might put it on a stick as a fun appetizer. He might also offer it on his weight-watchers' menu.

"That Uno was quite a character," Gang Pow said. "Beagle would be a great conversation-starter at Happy Hour. They bring such joy to people."

Several frozen food giants are reportedly thinking about making Beagle a dinner entree, or, at the very least, using it in their gut-wrenching, mystery meat and filler pot pies.

Cat-lovers, meanwhile, were chagrined to learn that their favorite breeds aren't popular menu items when dining out.

"It's always the same old fare -- dog this and dog that," cat-fancier Francie McDermott said. "When I go out to dinner with friends, it would be nice to have some different choices.

"It's so depressing that most of the time I just stay home, go down into the sewer and catch my own cat for dinner."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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