Nigerian oil minister can't give away $25,000,000 fortune
Thanks to spam and junk emailers, Menogo Chewbacci, son of the recently deceased Nigerian Minister for Oil, is said to now be suffering from high blood pressure and stress, and could even be forced into a coma as a result of the recent death of his u...
Read full storyTexas Attorney Hunting Guide
1.) Any person with a valid Texas hunting license may harvest attorneys.
Read full storyTop Ten Reasons God Created Eve
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
Read full storyNothing remotely rhythmic or gymnastic about Mrs Putin at Orthodox Easter jamboree
Moscow - (Stalinist Mess): A grim-faced Mrs Putin stood by her husband in public today as the outgoing Russian president, his successor Dim Eatery Medvedev and wife Roxana Vaginissimus celebrated Russian Orthox Easter at Moscow's St Igor Rasputi...
Read full storyBush Admits Squirrel Monkey Acted On His Behalf
Lame duck president George Bush admits that Costa Rican squirrel monkey Tisiki has been acting as his double for years.
Read full storyWarren Jeffs incest nutter found in Austrian hellhole
Amstetten, Austria - (Lurid Ass Mess): Austrian police are probing links between Eldorado's fundamentalist polygamist nutter Warren Jeffs and a 73-year-old Austrian who is believed to have hidden his daughter in a cellar for 24 years and fathered...
Read full storyPatch Makes Babes Horny
Scentuelle produces & sells a paste-on patch containing fragrances that are said to increase libidinous thoughts for ladies who've lost that groove thing. In addition, buyers are treated to e-mail follow-ups from the company that suggest naughty...
Read full storyIndia's DRDO loses one scientist every day - "just careless, really"
India's premier military research body, the Defence Research and Development Organisation (DRDO), loses one scientist every day amid the inefficient bustle of typical official top-secret bureaucracy.
Read full storyBritney's Dad sends conservatorship lawyer to help Amy Winehouse Pa
London - (Tacky Ass Mess): Britney Spears' father Jamie has offered to send his conservatorship attorney Ivan Backhander to help sort out Mitch Winehouse's drug fiend daughter Amy.
Read full storyZimbabwe Election Results in Full
Robert Mugabe, the charismatic, statesmanlike and incredibly mad leader of Zimbabwe has spoken out against people speaking out against him regarding the alleged delay in posting the election results held in the country quite a while ago now.
Read full storyTory non-dom sperm donor lord urges Max Mosley into rehab stint
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): A top Tory Party sperm donor has urged fellow S&M orgy enthusiast Max Mosley to give himself up and join him at a rehab specialising in sex addiction purges.
Read full storySpecial Marketing Olympics
With over double the number of Olympic sponsors (31,400) than athletes (14,500) due to turn up at this summer's games, the organisers have decided to do away with the various competitions and have Olympic "bonding" sessions instead.
Read full storyCounty Councils work with BAA to reduce landfill
As a result of the spectacular successes surrounding trials for BAA on the opening of Heathrow's Terminal 5, several of the country's Council Council authorities have now signed up for a trial period of new refuse disposal services being offe...
Read full storyAustrian 'hid daughter in a shoe' shocker
An Austrian man allegedly held his daughter captive in a shoe for 24 years and fathered so many children with her that she didn't know what to do, reports say.
Read full storyJames Hetfield of Metallica Joins Guns N' Roses For Special Reunion Tour
Metallica rock icon James Hetfield is joining forces with Axl Rose and the Gun N' Roses guys for a special once-off reunion tour staring in Montreal on June 18t...
Read full storyDid dinos die because they failed to do the nasty?
A new study has found that birds lack a hot-and horny-generating tissue present in mammals and concludes that the absence of this tissue may have caused the extinction of dinosaurs.
Read full storySecond satellite launched for use in Miley Cyrus global positioning system
A second satellite, Hannah Banana, planned for use in the international Miley Cyrus Global Sighting and Positioning System (MCGSPS) was launched early Sunday from the Russian space centre in Baikonur, Kazakhblessyoustan.
Read full storyScience Corner: An Experiment in Button Pushing
Preliminary Disclaimer: This experiment involves animal cruelty. Lots of it. Please do not conduct it yourself. Just use your imagination. Creator of experiment assumes no responsibility for human or animal deaths, injuries, mental anguish, or property damage sustained as a result of engaging in the activities described herein.
Read full storyTax Refund Checks Bounce
(Washington DC) The Bush Administration woke to an embarrassing situation Sunday morning--all of the tax refund checks sent out are bouncing. The refunds were for $300.00, $600.00 or $1200.00 and the bouncing is sending shock waves through the econom...
Read full storyObama Asks Miley Cyrus to Be His Running Mate!
NC - Today Barrack Obama announced in a surprise move that he has chosen his running mate, none other than Miley Cyrus or "Hanna Montana".
Read full storyTeen Finds Jesus, Loses Him Again
THOMPSON DAILY, ND - David Barker felt empty after the death of his beloved grandmother. Unable to cope with the loss of the woman who had raised him, he became angry and bitter. But then one day, while searching nostalgically through boxes of his...
Read full storyJesus a Little Freaked-Out by Everyone Constantly Cursing Him
EL PASO, TX - For many recent immigrants, America is a land of hope and opportunity. For some, though, it can be strange and confusing. Jesus Gomez is one of the latter, as the new resident of El Paso has noticed a disturbing trend among his new fe...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera Pregnant with Mick Jagger's Love Child: Orders Lip Reduction Surgury for Infant!
In her duet with Jagger in "Live with Me," Christina Aguilera does the bump and grind with grandpa Mick, which has apparently lead to more than the two have admitted.
Read full storyPortland Man Discovers Homelessness Not All It's Cracked Up to Be
After being forced from his home by a judge-issued protective order, Portland local, Brian Molnar had no choice but to live in his Subaru Justy. Coming from a city so rife with entertaining but hapless dregs, Molnar suspected the stint would be a nov...
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