Northern Rock to be sold to Little Rock Sub-Prime Junk Loan Co
City of London - (Ass Mess): A sub-prime junk loan company in Little Rock, Arkansas, has bought the near-insolvent UK Northern Rock Bank in a deal described as 'made in heaven' by City of London bankers today.
Read full storyTehran Lesbians Collective has a right laugh at Ahmadinejad theory
New York - (Ass Mess): The Tehran and Isfahan Lesbians Collective said today that it's had the best laugh of its entire existence after watching Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad tell a New York's Columbia University Medical School dinner...
Read full storyTruman "would have had Bush horse-whipped": archives
Independence, Missouri - (Archive Press): Documents stored in the Presidential Library and Museum of Harry S Truman are to be published early next year dealing with what the 33rd President of the United States thought of the Bush family, in particula...
Read full storyCEO's 'totally crap BP' wipes £3.5 billion off share price
City of London - (Disaster Mess): In the City of London it's know as 'doing a Ratners' - disparaging your business in public in the style of Gerald Ratner, former managing director of the eponymous jewellery store, who told press and shar...
Read full storyAmericans Still Not Interested in Beckhams
David and Victoria Beckham, conceded today that their quest to be famous in America was now starting to falter.
Read full storyUS President admitted to rehab
A White House spokesperson has confirmed that US President George Bush will be taking a break from the Presidency to attend rehab for stupidity.
Read full storyShrek star attacks Sister Sister sisters
Shrek star Mike Myers has attacked the performance of twins Tia and Tamara Mowrey of Sister Sister "fame".
Read full storyDrive By Shooting is One Millionth in Chattanooga
Chattanooga Shootshoot, Tennessee (IP) - The City's public relation specialist called our office to announce a milestone set in his beautiful water front city. A drive by shooting there became the One Millionth shooting this year.
Read full storyRon Paul Tired Of Just Being An Internet Sensation, Withdraws Candidacy
Internet phenom and presidential candidate Ron Paul has decided to withdraw his candidacy after continuing to be ignored by people in real life. At a recent campaign stop in upstate New York, Paul was greeted by only 4 supporters; they also happened...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden Admits He's Dyslexic
Terrorist and Al Queda leader, Osama Bin Laden, in an exclusive interview today with Jihad TV, admitted to being dyslexic.
Read full storyAnother swastika crop circle discovered in US field
Mercer County, New Jersey - (Ass Mess): Another swastika crop circle has been discovered in a remote Mercer County corn field prompting fears 'aliens' are making a political statement about the state of affairs in the Bush Administration'...
Read full storyAhmadinejad snaps up des-res US missile base
Washington - (Disaster Mess): Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has snapped up one of the most desirable residences in Washington State ever to come to the market -a former US intercontinental ballistic missile base once used to launch the fab...
Read full storyBoy Racer To Attempt New Land Speed Record
A youth from Doncaster is tonight going to attempt to steal the limelight from a man who was yesterday jailed for 10 weeks for breaking the speed limit in his Porsche 911.
Read full storyBush Revealed To Be A Puppet Leader
Investigators today revealed that the President George W. Bush is nothing more than a puppet leader. Suspicions grew when strings became visible during a presidential broadcast, and they were confirmed when, during a public speech, a hand was visible...
Read full storyBritney Spears Fan Club Scrapped
Britney Spears has announced that, from October, her fan club will no longer operate. This is due, almost entirely, to the fact that she no longer has any fans.
Read full storyLatest Chinese Toy Recall: Dead Bug Inside Icecube
BEIJING - The latest in a string of bad publicity for Chinese manufacturers could well spell the end of novelty gift production in this quaint country of more than a billion people. In the most recent incident, a massive factory neglected its qualit...
Read full storyBoris Johnson - Death of a Hero
Earlier this week, it was announced that Boris Johnson is the comedy pseudonym of funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen. The news that Boris is not a real person has been a devastating blow to millions of people across the country, who loved his sharp, intellectual wit, his "no nonsense" approach about saying wha...
Read full storySir Trevor interviews another fat white bastard
News Knight Sir Trevor McDonald interviewed Celebrity Big Brother star Jade Goody yesterday, about her addiction to slimming pills.
Read full storyBush Proposes to Iran's Ahmadinejad
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - In a surprise development, President George Bush has proposed to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad after the Iranian leader spoke at New York's Columbia University.
Read full storyBearded Twit Hijacks New Missing Maddy Billboard Campaign
Up to £80,000 from donations to the Madeleine Fund have been used for newspaper, television and billboard adverts starting today. However, the picture of a bearded twit, one of the UK's 210000 missing people, has been mistakenly used on the poste...
Read full storyColumbia University awards Ahmadinejad Honorary Doctorate in Humanities
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad received a warm reception from students at Columbia University yesterday when he delivered a speech questioning the Holocaust, denying the existence of Al Qaeda, pretending there...
Read full storyBrady Bunch Girls Engaged In Torrid Lesbian Affair and That's The Tip of the Iceberg
Maureen McCormick who portrayed Marica Brady on the hit family situation comedy, The Brady Bunch, has revealed in a new tell all book, there was much more than healthy life's lessons going on in the Brady household.
Read full storyTheSpoof.com Writer Misses Point and Publishes Serious Article on Satirical Website
A writer for a satirical website, today published an article that contained absolutely no amusing content on the satirical news website 'The Spoof'.
Read full storyRepublican National Committee Promotes War With Iran
A group of sickly dweebs at the Heritage Foundation sent a memo this week to members of the Republican National Committee, outlining talking points for rationalizing a nuclear strike against Iran. After losing the last election, and seeing their fun...
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