Diana Death Pics Driving People Wild!
Worldwide, thousands of morbid and sick individuals are desperate to see images of Diana in her final death throws, it has emerged.
Read full storyCVC §21800(b)(1) is sweeping across the Golden State
A little known provision of the California Vehicle Code is spreading like a wildfire by the word of mouth. More people have learned about CVC §21800(b)(1) last month than about Ron Paul and, unlike his presidency, it is available for public benefit r...
Read full storyFord Motors to Reintroduce the Pinto as Counter-Terrorism Weapon
DETROIT, MI -- The Ford Pinto, the car that was once considered to be one of the worst cars ever produced because of a tendency to explode due to an exposed gas tank that was easily ruptured in rear end collisions, is back. But sorry America, you...
Read full storyMcDonald's to Introduce Tapeworm McNuggets
OAK BROOK, IL -- In response to a series of articles linking fast food to our nation's rapidly increasing obesity epidemic, McDonald's, the world's largest fast food chain, silenced critics with plans to unveil their latest creation; tape...
Read full storyUtah Approves New State Slogan
SALT LAKE CITY, UT -- Yesterday the Utah State Legislature voted unanimously to change the official state slogan.
Read full storyUK barrister 'gobsmacked' as Pinochet family & friends held in corruption charge sting
London - (Litigious Mess): General Augusto Pinochet's former London extradition lawyer Michael Caplan QC is said to be 'shocked and dismayed' after his ex-client's relatives and business associates were rounded up in an anti-corrupti...
Read full storyMilan's Dida signed by Don King following Celtic tumble
AC Milan's goalkeeper Dida has been offered a one five match boxing contract following his stunning performance last night against Celtic in the Champions League. The Brazilian s...
Read full storyFirefighters demoted, fined for shining torch on gay foursome in the Bushes
Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): Firefighters who shone their torches at four men they discovered "having sex in the Bushes" have been disciplined by their bosses.
Read full storyDevon police lawyer says cow killing was mistake, not a crime
Armed police were called in to shoot a runaway cow which had got loose in South Devon.
Read full storyBush plants spies at top UK universities
Oxford - (Academic Mess): So paranoid is George W Bush about the filing of imminent criminal harassment lawsuits against him and Dick Cheney by a number of American household name families that he has planted stooges in top British universities to sp...
Read full storyFrench PM Nickerless Sarcastic contracts Brown Nose disease
French d*ckhead, Nickerless Sarcastic has become the latest victim to contract Brown Nose disease. Sufferers have a tremendous urge to shove their noses up the, quite considerable, ass of George W Bush
Read full storyDiana had just dumped Dodi for Michael Jackson, inquest told
Royal Courts of Justice, london - (Reuterus): Scenes of uproar broke out in Court No 666 at the RCJ today as Royal Coroner Lord Justice Scott-Baker was told that video footage of Princess Diana's last known movements showed her dumping Dodi Fayed...
Read full storyNorthern Rock lends Labour Party £20 million for snap election
Shitty of London - (Bankrolling Mess): Whitehall sources have said that troubled financial giant Northern Rock Bank is spearheading a £20 million loan to the Labour Party to finance its campaign in the recently-announced Halloween general election.
Read full storyBush Plans for Retirement
It is rumored that George W. Bush, after retiring from the U.S. presidency, plans to take up a career in estate management, given his fiscal savvy and wisdom exhibited while in the White House, by which he himself is extraordinarily impressed.
Read full storyIrish famine blamed on Marlon Brando
The Irish potato famine of the 1840's was the fault of dead legendary fat method actor Marlon Brando, is the dramatic claim made in a new book by Irish one-hit-wonder, Sinead O Connor.
Read full storyDa Vinci's Madonna of the Sidewinder painting recovered
Drumlanrig Castle, Dumfries - (Clueless Mess): Strathclyde police have recovered the Duke of Buccleuch's priceless Leonardo Di Caprio painting The Madonna of the Sidewinder which was nicked from the stately pile in 2003.
Read full storySotherby's to auction off the Magna Carta; Bush puts up the U.S. Constitution and The Bill of Rights on Craig's List
Washington, D.C. - The prestigious Sotherby's announced it would be placing a copy of the world famous 1215 document, the Magna Carta (The Great Charter), up for auction this December. The document is considered the beginning of democracy in Engl...
Read full storyPolice Recover Stolen Masterpiece
Scottish detectives have discovered a priceless artwork which was stolen from a French Chateaux, just outside the village of Nouvion.
Read full storyBritney not fat but pregnant bombshell
Los Angeles, California - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): "She ain't just fat, she's pregnant," was how an MTV Video Music Awards executive described last month's jaw-dropping black sequinned bikini and knee-high stiletto boots performa...
Read full storyGorgon Brown calls Halloween general election
Drowning Street, London - (Ass Mess): "Should scare the living daylights out of the Tories," was how Prime Monster Gorgon Brown described the 31st October snap election date, announced today.
Read full storyProminent Women's Group: "Guys are Jerks"
The Women's Forum for Peace and Equalness held their annual convention last week and their message was a simple one: guys are jerks, and we're never getting involved with one of them again.
Read full storyI-sCream, U-scream
Due to its inability to sell computers Apple has announced its first foray into the small kitchen appliance market with its new Ice Cream maker the I-sCream. Apple spokesman Jonathan Braeburn praised the new product by stating "not only can it d...
Read full storyMystery virus strikes Goalkeeper, fan suspected
An extraordinary assassination attempt was made on the life of AC Milan goalkeeper Dida last night, as his side were beaten in the Champion's League.
Read full storyDick Cheney Celebrated the Anniversary of His Shooting a Man in the Face by...Shooting People in the Face
Several months after the incident occurred, Vice President Dick Cheney was forced to admit that he celebrated the anniversary of his shooting a man in the face by…shooting people in the face.
Read full storyPeruvian Ecologists Discover New Tribe
Ecologists in Peru have discovered a previously unknown indigenous group living in the Amazon jungle near the Brazilian border.
Read full storyDida Arrested Resisting Glaswegian Marriage Proposal
Uefa will today launch an investigation into the disgraceful scenes at Parkhead last night when a harmless playful drunken Glaswegian appeared to propose to Dida at the end of Celtic's 2-1 victory over Milan.
Read full storyJeremy Kyle sacked - Professor Snape from Harry Potter takes over as chat show host
In a shock announcement, ITV bosses have said that chat show host Jeremy Kyle has been dropped from the Jeremy Kyle Show, which will get a new host and a new name. It will be called the Professor Snape Show and its host will be Harry Potter's pro...
Read full storyArchaeologists discover "Happy Days" episode from 19th century
Archaeologists at a Hollywood studio have found what appears to be an episode of popular TV series Happy Days dating back to the late 19th century, indicating that, contrary to widespread belief, the popular series about life in 1950s America wasn...
Read full storyCameron and Brown to 'Fight for Britain' in Car Park
Conservative Leader David Cameron stunned the party Conference in Blackpool today by boasting that he "could and would, smash Labour Leader Brown's Stupid Suet-like face in."...
Read full storyEquestrian IX (last post)
The buyer along with his family waited outside, at the gate. He, too, had put on his best clothes, hanging medals won in WWII. His 14-year old grandson was polishing a saddle in the station wagon. At the order of the master of the ceremony, the event commenced. A platoon size choir stood next to a band using civilian musical instruments. The gate opened. H-345 was led by a man dressed in medieval...
Read full storyJohn McCain Stumps at Monster Truck Rally
Banksville, Alabama- 2008 presidential candidate John McCain R-Arizona was the featured and only non truck related speaker at the popular Maxx Truxx monster truck show and tractor pull.
Read full storySupervillian Defeated by Regular Villian
Doctor Destructo, a Professional Supervillian was defeated by Pete "Dump Truck" Dimaggio a low level member of the South Jersey Mafia on Tuesday, much to the Doctor's embarrassment.
Read full storyRon Paul Signs Emancipation Proclamation, Freeing Tax Slaves!
03 Oct 07, WASHINGTON, DC, CSA-- President Ron Paul announced the emancipation of all tax slaves within regions where the Union government remains in rebellion against the People of the States today. This daring frontal manoeuvre against the Union ef...
Read full storyBush sinks SCHIP filled with kids using his Veto torpedo! "No (Healthy) Child Left Behind"?
Washington, D.C. Proving once again that a compassionate Republican is about as difficult to find as a needle in a haystack, President Bush...
Read full storyRon Paul, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in wild sex romp
Satire writer Nick Fun expressed regret at writing this derogatory headline about Ron Paul today at a press conference in his office just north of Los Angeles.
Read full storyBush Proposes "No Child Left Alive" Initiative
Washington, D.C Following his veto of the Child's Health Initiative, George Bush countered with his own proposal...The "No Child Left Alive Initiative." Health experts point out that Bush's veto will literally mean...
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