Drumlanrig Castle, Dumfries - (Clueless Mess): Strathclyde police have recovered the Duke of Buccleuch's priceless Leonardo Di Caprio painting The Madonna of the Sidewinder which was nicked from the stately pile in 2003.
In a carefully crafted operation code-named McHaggis officers from Dumfries and Galloway police worked tirelessly with the Scottish Crime, Drug Enforcement and Disorganised Crime Agency to locate the missing artwork in the Duke's secret safe deposit box at the Balmoral branch of the Northern Rock bank.
So far there has been no word about who gets the huge six-figure reward which was offered for the safe return of the £30 million painting which many always suspected was an inside job.
Loss adjusters for the duke's insurance agency said the heist was one of the most important works of art of a criminal grand master who was probably stealing to order.
The painting was described as stolen when thieves broke into castle and allegedly overpowered staff with a noxious aerosol intoxicant.
Subsequent forensic examination however proved that the toxic substance was nothing more potent than the local Highland mist and that the castle employees were so drunk anyway that resistance proved futile.
Arrests are expected imminently.
