Doctor Destructo, a Professional Supervillian was defeated by Pete "Dump Truck" Dimaggio a low level member of the South Jersey Mafia on Tuesday, much to the Doctor's embarrassment.
Doctor Destructo, arch nemesis of The Fairness Guild and all that is good, has among other crimes attempted to steal the pacific ocean, held spunky reporter Valarie Collins hostage at least four times and has tried to blow up the moon. Dumptruck served three years in Ryker's Island for writing bad checks, littering and purjury.
The incident occurred last week after Destructo returned home from fleeing authorities after he was defeated again by Captain Commander the protector of Anytown USA. Destructo entered his "impregnable" fortress to find Dimaggio already inside robbing him.
Dumptruck had avoided the crocodile filled moat, motion detector lasers, and trapdoors by kicking in a small window in the guest bedroom. Dimaggio was emptying out Destructo's wife's jewelry box into a large sack, completely ignoring the massive titanium vault located in the throne room down stairs.
Upon discovering DumpTruck in his fortress Destructo proclaimed: "Who dares to trespass within the inner sanctum of the master of all vileness? Robot Minions sieze Him!Q"
Dimmaggio responded: "Hey youse stupid gavone, who the fuck you talkin to? I broke youse toy robots, why youse dressed like a faggot anyway? Why I oughtta pop yo nose fo pissin me off, thanks fo da jools". Dimmaggio attempted to leave with his booty but Destructo pointed an experimental freeze ray at him, Dimmaggio slapped it out of his hand and proceeded to whale on destructo's face with brass knuckles while destructo whined like a little bitch.
Dumptruck Dimaggio escaped the lab with $687 worth of jewelry and DVDs. Doctor Destructo recieve minor lacerations across his face, he now wears a steel mask to hide his "deformities" but real medical doctors say he'll heal in 6 weeks. "I pledge to hunt down my new arch nemesis to the ends of the earth and get my revenge, BWAHAHAHAHA"!
