Iraq War Ends
Washington Toast - The war in Iraq has ended! This was sooner than expected due to events traced back to the fall of the Ottoman empire.
Read full storyU.S. Workers To Get 3-Day Workweek
(Washington) - In a political effort to gain more power and buy more votes, politicians in Washington have proposed a 3-day workweek for all U.S. employees.
Read full storyThink Tank: Europeans are Superior
A noted Washington think tank, The Center for Human Beings, released a study recently which declared that Europeans are better than Americans.
Read full storyRussia Will Convert Moon into Giant Sputnik
Moscow (IP) - The Russian government has announced that they will turn the moon into a giant Sputnik in the greatest work of art ever attempted by man.
Read full story"John predicted global warming"claims Yoko
New York, New York - Yoko Ono, widow of slain Beatle John Lennon, claimed today that "my John" had forseen global warming.
Read full storyMan-made Satellites Found Orbiting Other Planets
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - Space scientists were astounded today when the Pluto bound New Horizons space craft sent photos back to Earth of satellites orbiting the other planets that had been sent aloft by Haiti.
Read full storyRugby World Cup Final - England v South Africa Pre-Match Assessment
The Sporting Spoof tipster, 'the Macster', has been adopted by the England Rugby Team as their lucky mascot following pre-match assessments of their quarter-final and semi-final battles against much...
Read full storyAcupuncture Proven to Relieve the Suffering of the Dead
A study at the University of Springfield at Piermont (USAP) has conclusively shown that acupuncture can help the dead every bit as much as it does the living.
Read full storyBush Tells Press he Served in War, Shows Self in Action
Washington, DC -- President George Bush met with reporters today to clear the air about his confusing military past.
Read full storyGlobal Warming Debate Finally Over
The ongoing debate over global warming came to an unexpected and shocking end today.
Read full storyNorthern Rock Chairman Steps Down
Northern Rock chairman Matt Ridley has mysteriously stepped down from his job, sources at the beleaguered bank have announced. He cleared his desk this afternoon, and resigned with immediate effect.
Read full storyCandidates to Square Off in Piousness Debate
Unable to outdo one another in terms of religious devotion in their individual appearances on the campaign trail, the major candidates of both parties will be coming together next month for an unprecedented piousness debate, or God-off.
Read full storyPutin warns of US 'erotic' desires
Bloodyvostock - (Ass Messki): Russian President Vladimir Sputum has accused the US of harbouring "erotic" desires to penetrate him.
Read full story(Old News) Strong Growth in Effigy Sector Spurs 2005 GDP
Washington D.C. -- The United States Bureau of Commerce released 2005 GDP figures today revealing the highs and lows of today's volatile economy.
Read full storyPuppet Monarch's Kiss of Death Note to England Rugby Superstar Wilko
Paris, France - (Fly Half Mess): The Puppet Monarch sealed the England team's Rugby World Cup fate with a hand- written Kiss of Death note which Princess Anus will hand over to Johnny Wilkinson just minutes before kick-off.
Read full storyGeorge Bush has something disgusting in London say spooks
London - (Reuterus & Ass mess): George W Bush has been hiding something disgusting in London for the last 20 years according to Whitehall security/intelligence chiefs.
Read full storyBoys sent to Iran for stoning death
Old Bailey, London - (Ass Mess): Five boys convicted of killing a harmless middle aged man by pelting him with stones and rocks while he played cricket on the village green have been sentenced to two years exile in Iran.
Read full storyYanks should ignore Hillary
Not Duff, she's alright, the other one - Clinton. The wife of former president William Clinton is presently on the rampage across the US in pursuit of becoming the first female Commander in Chief. Fair play to her I say but American voters should really consider basically telling her to piss off for the following reasons.
Read full storyJonathan Ross saves 2,500 Jobs at the Beeb
Presenter Jonathan Ross did the honourable thing today Friday 19th October 2007 by resigning and saving 2,500 jobs which where under threat at the BBC.
Read full storyRon Paul is Top GOP Candidate and Headed for Nomination: Fox, CNN
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul is now the top candidate running for president and is headed for the GOP nomination, both CNN and Fox have finally admitted.
Read full storyFury at DNA pioneer's theory: Jews are more intelligent than the rest of us
One of the world's leading scientists was entangled in a furious row last night after he claimed that Jews were more intelligent than the rest of us.
Read full storySir Ming called out of retirement to train English Rugby Squad
The former Lib-Dem leader has been called out of retirement after just one day to serve his country once more. It is hoped that he will make a better trainer than he was politician.
Read full storyGary Numan Mysteriously Hangs Out at Local Electronics Store
London, England -- Gary Numan was seen hanging around a local electronics store today, for what purpose few seem to know, including the shop owner. "Well, I recognised him right away," stated storeowner, Tony Mason. "I know it's strange, but wh...
Read full storyGoogle Unveils New Mission Statement
California (mn) - After hours trading on Google (GOOG) drove the shares of the Internet search firm up nearly 20% to $761.82. That's $123.19 change since markets closed this afternoon. The spike was driven on the late announcement of Google'...
Read full storyNew Captain America Pops a Cap in America's Tush
New York (mn) - Marvel Comics announced this week that Captain America would be reborn with issue #34, just nine issues after the Sentinel of Libery was shot dead on court house steps in issue #25.
Read full storyDon't Drink the Dehydrated Water
A forensic scientist studying the DNA of water in the English University of Cambridge has made some startling findings that may cause us to think twice before ever drinking tap water again.
Read full storySchool administrator growing two sets of lips
An administrator at Mayberry Middle School was reported today with a strange growth on her face. Assistant Principal (AP) Dolly Testamilion was first reported to have a clef on her lip, but a closer look revealed something quite different.
Read full storyJoe Torres Rejects Yankees Offer
New York, New York (IP) - Manager Joe Torres turned down an offer from the Yankees to work for another year.
Read full storyStudy Reveals Candy Corn Digests Better Than Real Corn
Washington, D.C. -- The federal government released the results of an eight-month study into the digestibility of candy corn today.
Read full storyCrows Cash in on Nesting Crises
Following recent reports of squirrels in the East End of London, forming together into collective farms, harvesting crops and exporting snails to France, animal experts are reporting an incredible development among the local crow population.
Read full storyMigrants 'throwing a lifeline' to UK economy
Migrant workers last year earned higher wages than their British counterparts, worked harder, offered much-needed skills, paid more in taxes than they used in public services, and contributed £10 billion to the nation's economic growth, a Home Of...
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