Senator Craig Featured in Playgirl Magazine
Pivate, Idaho (IP) - Playgirl magazine has announced that it is featuring gay Idaho Republican Senator Craig in the fold out section of its November issue of its magazine.
Read full storyComet Discovered Under Water
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Astronomer Dr. Povenmire Finootch has discovered a new comet under the Pacific Ocean. The comet has been named Comet Finootch 0607.
Read full storyBoy Scouts Sent to Iraq
Washington (IP) - It is reported by the Pentagon that 600 Boy Scouts from each state will be sent to fight in Iraq.
Read full storyLaura Bush to Enter Convent
Washington (IP) - First Lady Laura Bush has decided to enter a convent a year before her husband's term as president expires.
Read full storyCosta Rica to Offer Political Asylum to US Politicians
San Jose, Costa Rica (IP) - Costa Rica has decided to issue political asylum to US politicians guilty of war crimes and corruption.
Read full storyGore Picks Giuliani as Running Mate
New York, New York (IP) - Al Gore has picked Rudy Giuliani as his running mate.
Read full storyStar Trek Movie - Millwall Legend Lands Leading Role
Legendary footballer and property tycoon Peter Theo has landed a leading role in the new upcoming Star Trek movie.
Read full storyTed Kennedy's Head is Still Growing at Phenomenal Rate.
BOSTON - Senator Edward Kennedy underwent surgery Friday at Massachusetts General Hospital. The operation, performed by Dr. Richard Cambria, the hospital's chief of vascular surgery, was completed without complications, and the Massachusetts Demo...
Read full storyFIFA World Player Of The Year Announced: Paul Robinson!
Spurs goalkeeper Paul Robinson has been named as FIFA World Player Of The Year, fighting off competition from Kaka, Messi and Ronaldo in the process, at a special gala in western Alabama.
Read full storyAn Uncomfortable Truth: Al Gore gets Nobel Peace Prize and thanks "motherf*ckers"
Al "Boring Git" Gore was the joint winner of the Nobel Peace Prize today at the awards ceremony in Norway.
Read full storyWallace & Gromit To Split
Wallace and Gromit, the animated film stars from Wigan, are to split acrimoniously after nearly twenty years of working together. The couple, stars of films like A Grand Day Out, The Wrong Trousers, A Close Shave and the recent Curse Of The Were-R...
Read full storyIan 'Beefy' Botham Slams Royal Do As "A Right Shambles"
Sir Ian "Beefy" Botham has astonished courtiers by slamming arrangements for his sirring today.
Read full storyFirst Amendment Satire Plea as Student Busted for Posting Pat Robertson Pic on Faecesbook Webshite
Richmond, Virginia - (Ass Mess): A student has claimed First Amendment satire rights after a lifelike photo of protein-defying ageing pancake salesman and evangelical TV pundit the Reverend Pat Robertson was posted in the Top Ten Shits division of th...
Read full storyMcCartney and Mills head for bigamy trial fiasco
Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Perjurious Mess): Paul McCartney and Heather Mills were told by a senior divorce judge today that they are well on the slippery slope to bigamy trial oblivion after putting in fine perjurious performances to the cou...
Read full storyAbortion/Execution: It's Never Too Late
The age of abortion is to be raised to seventeen it was happily announced today by leading political 18 year old David Millipede. Unwanted teen 'mistakes' can now be rectified by getting a registered GP to back over him/her in a four door Mar...
Read full storySerious Fraud Squad glee as Branson eyes Northern Rock
City of London - (Ass Sting Mess): "It's not often the Fraud Squad and the FSA gets the chance to have a right laugh," Financial Services Authority chief executive Hector Sants said today.
Read full storyU.S. Constitution Declared Unconstitutional
The American Civil Liberals Union today won a landmark legal victory in federal court when they succeeded in getting the U.S. Constitution declared unconstitutional.
Read full storyMaddie's Daddy's a Baddy
Partially sighted evidence-losers, the Portuguese police, have today sacked the 'parents' of missing Madeleine McCann from their PR department.
Read full storyClinton vote angers rivals
WASHINGTON, Oct. 12 - Presidential Candidate and White House hopeful Hillary Clinton (D - NY) has come under another round of attacks over her support of another Senate resolution.
Read full storyApple, AT&T and Jolly Green Giant lawsuits
Lawsuits are abound over Apple Inc.'s use restrictions and recent software update for the iPhone. The multiple suits claim Apple and its carrier partner, AT&T Inc., are engaged in illegal monopolistic behavior. Apple spokesman Jonathan Braeburn r...
Read full storyMass Insecticide Memorial Unveiled
Semi-pickled nylon clad monarch The Queen today unveiled a Damien Hirst designed memorial to all the insects and plants killed in World War Two. The piece depicts a woodlouse being cruelly fumigated by Nazi pest police.
Read full storySatire Revived as Gore Gets Peace Prize
Satire, once thought to have died when Dr Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, has been revived by the award going to peacenik and doom merchant Al Gore.
Read full storySky-Scraper for Beared Tit
Dashing money hoarding vagabond Richard Branson today spoke about his 'Virgin on the ridiculous' botched arse-exposing PR abseil down 'lucky for some' Palm's Casino on rising failure chat show 'Under Thatched Roof' with un...
Read full story"It was the Poor Opinion of Poles" - admits PM
The Prime Minister admitted in a candid interview with the Badly Bankrupt Corporation (BBC), that it was the startling revelations in the latest opinion of Poles that forced him to cancel an early election.
Read full storyPortuguese Cop Denied Holocaust
The top policeman investigating the kidnap of Madeleine McCann, Paulo Rebelo, once denied the holocaust ever happened in a crowded bar in the Algarve.
Read full storyX Factor Host Louis Walsh Is Homeless
Louis Walsh, one of the judges in ITV's novelty talent show X Factor, has admitted in an interview that he is, in fact, homeless. Irishman Walsh, interviewed by countryman Graham Norton, said that he had been homeless since losing his property aft...
Read full storyTehran's Ducks went on protest following Arrest of an American Duck in Washington
Thousands of Ducks from around the country gathered in Tehran streets following an arrest of American Duck in Washington. They had banners showing "Down with Ducks" "Fly with Ducks" "walk like Ducks".
Read full storyNine Children Murdered in US raid in Iraq
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- A US attack successfully murdered 19 "freedom-fighters" and 15 civilians, including nine innocent children, northwest of Baghdad on Thursday, senior Pentagon perverts confirmed.
Read full storyHurricanes Linked to Untreated Serious Mental Illness
Meteorologists meeting in New York City today released the startling results of their latest research study on the causes of hurricanes. The results were controversial they said and a minority report by so called "reality-based" meteorologi...
Read full storyPentagon says Liberals, not US Troops, Responsible for Deaths of Iraqi Civilians
WASHINGTON, DC -- Responding to a recent public outcry denouncing American troop involvement in the death of countless numbers of Iraqi civilians, U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates has stated that American troops have never killed a single Iraqi...
Read full storyWoman Hospitalised from Patchouli Inhalation
BEND, OR -- Here in this so called "hippie haven" in the mountains, many people substitute patchouli oil for actual bathing and good personal hygiene. Margie Pierce, a tourist from Devil's Lake, North Dakota, discovered that patchouli o...
Read full story