Mass Insecticide Memorial Unveiled

Written by Candice Hitler

Friday, 12 October 2007

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ants were responsible for surface to air missiles

Semi-pickled nylon clad monarch The Queen today unveiled a Damien Hirst designed memorial to all the insects and plants killed in World War Two. The piece depicts a woodlouse being cruelly fumigated by Nazi pest police.

'This work is to commemorate all the brave arachnids, arthropods and crustacea that gave their lives protecting our civil liberties and our right to be faschist. Not to mention the nettles, acorns and grass that were of such moral support to those people who were fighting with some other people'

Her Majesty was clearly emotional as she strained for over two hours to remove the leopard skin velvet cloth that covered the work.

Press photographer and part time stalker 'Poppa' Razzi told us;

'Madge done alright today, yeah, Damo's work is another typical Hurst piece of unimaginative shock cack, but i think in generations to come people will look at it and say yeah, that's what England means to me - a giant woodlouse being sprayed by two camp SS officers in full S&M gear.'

The British Entomology Club are reported to be 'grass-hopping mad' that they were not consulted prior to the work's commission and a spokesman for the creepy bug botherers said;

'Personally i would have elected to show one of Britain's many moth's that lost their lives delivering important strategic pollen weaponry to battalions or indeed maybe the famous scene where a dandelion held off invading Jerrys for eight hours by discussing how it could be used as alongside burdock as a refreshing beverage.'

It is our right to free and pointless speech such as this that Britain's flora and fauna fought and died to protect.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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