Last Pay Toilet At NBC Shuts Down
Due to the writer's strike and the lack of active bowel movements in Burbank, NBC has decided to close down the last pay toilet at the studio.
Read full storySylvia Browne Predicts Coming Of The Year 2008
NEW YORK -- With 2007 already 11 months old, people around the world are impatiently awaiting the arrival of a new year. And they won't have to wait much longer, according to popular psychic Sylvia Browne. To the delight of many, Browne claimed...
Read full storyDean Gaffney Fights Dragon
Former Eastender Dean Gaffney was yesterday still in shock after his fight with a dragon. The incident occured at Dean's home in Surrey in the afternoon when Dean's long time girlfriend heard a noise in the attic. She then found the dragon.
Read full storyStudios ask reality shows be run, instead of signatory reruns to reduce residual payments to WGA strikers; writers awe stricken by the irony
Hollywood, California - In a retaliatory measure and reversal of fortune, producers plan to pressure networks and cable companies to run only reality TV shows and not reruns, which continue to payout the much relied upon residuals to WGA writers out...
Read full storyOJ Simpson Disrupts Preliminary Hearing, Judge Drops All Charges.
OJ Simpson was ordered to showed up to a Las Vegas courthouse today to go before a judge to determine whether the state has sufficient evidence to move forward with kidnapping, robbery and assault with a deadly weapon charges to name a few.
Read full storySolar Electric Chairs
Nashville, TN (AP) - In an effort to "Go Green" Al Gore's home state of Tennessee has ordered new Solar Powered Electric Chairs from Bell+Howell. The creator of the Solar Bug Zapper is now venturing into the lucrative capital punishment...
Read full storyParis Hilton Revives Millinery Business
LOS ANGELES - The world's top women's fashion designers have focused all their creativity onto a new headwear trend started by Paris Hilton.
Read full storyIn midst of writer's strike, Lucas moves forward with Star Wars series
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In his office at the Letterman Digital Arts Center, his state-of-the-art production headquarters, George Lucas is hard at work preparing the initial episodes of his much anticipated new Star Wars live-action television series. Pr...
Read full storyNew planet is just like Earth - except backwards
Scientists have announced that they have discovered a place sort of like home 41 light-years from here in the constellation Cancer.
Read full storyComet Holmes Lands at American Airport
Palm Beach International Airport, Florida (IP) - Comet Holmes made history today when it became the first comet to land at an airport.
Read full storyCosta Rica Establishes Safe Touist Zones
Palma Verde, Costa Rica (IP) - The government of Costa Rica has established a three tiered system which allows the foreign tourist various levels of safety and security. The amount of crime being committed against tourists in Costa Rica has been on...
Read full storyCity Slickers Suck Ass as BT Blood Banks Run Dry
Dominic Domino - BT's chief bloodsucker Ben Goldfinger has been on a high-fiving roll lately, and so it was unavoidable that he would slip on something nasty any time. And that time is now.
Read full storyPacman - Dejected
Pacman, the popular 1980's computer game is said to be dejected, following a near twenty year drought of other work.
Read full storyBlair refuses to name pay cheque signatory
Connaught Square, London - (Mercenary Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has been asked "Just who signs your pay cheque these days?" and refused to deny that it's a source at the Northern Rock Bank.
Read full storyUK Gets 'iPhone' Bank Holiday
Temporary Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, today showed that he was in touch with the people of the UK by proclaiming that this Saturday (13 Oct) will be the UK's first Saturday Bank Holiday.
Read full storyMacca shagging NY Mafia boss's daughter
London - (Assinine Mess): Paul McCartney's new shag interest, millionaire New Yorker Ms Nancy Dishevelled, is the daughter of a Mafia mobster who won a presidential pardon from Ronnie Raygun.
Read full storyNorthern Rock Latest
Northern Rock, the UK Bank which has borrowed billions from the Bank of England when the credit markets dried up, is to be sold on eBay, insiders have revealed.
Read full storyKate Middleton's royal DNA link to the Yorkshire Ripper
Clarence House - (Fetid Mess): Desperate HRH wannabe Kate Middleton has forked out a fortune to prove she's got blue blood somewhere along the line.
Read full story9/11 was Putin revenge for Kursk fiasco says Interpol
Interpol HQ - (Conspiracy Mess): The head of Interpol's Foreign & Disorganised Crime division has told reporters today that all the unpublished evidence points to Russia's Vladimir Sputum being behind the 9/11 atrocity.
Read full storyMan Cuckolded - Not As Funny As It Sounds
TALLAHASSEE - A Florida man is definitely not laughing after being made a cuckold by his wife of five years. For those of you who are uneducated, and I know there are a lot, a cuckold is a husband whose wife was boned by another dude (clearly not a...
Read full storyLASIK Eye Surgery Reveals Ugly People Everywhere
LASIK Eye Surgery Reveal Ugly People Everywhere...
Read full storyGeneral Motors Reports $39 Billion Loss
On Wednesday automotive giant General Motors reported that it had lost $39 Billion during the third quarter.
Read full storyMet Chief Cracks Brick With Forehead
TOUGH Sir Ian Blair once again found himself cracking bricks in half with his forehead today when an official report into the accidental mis-shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes highlights areas where police must stop mis-shooting people who look like...
Read full story'Jazz Pharmaceuticals' Sues Over Date-Rape Drug Rights
Palo Alto, California (Drugs R Us) - U.S.-based drug manufacturer Jazz Pharmaceuticals is suing Australian toy company Moose Enterprise and Canadian toy company Spin Master, Ltd.
Read full storyThe Tent, Part II
In rotation, two people moved next to the fire pit, one smoking, the second one holding the burning charcoal above the opium lump placed atop a tiny hole, while the smoker blew air into the pipe to blaze the charcoal; then sucked the air in, and, consequently, the fume through the end of the pipe. The aroma of opium and tea filled the space. The light was magical. The faces were glowing red under...
Read full storyRear Admiral Joe Walsh & Captain Ted Nugent to Meet with Submarine Skippers
US and A - Rear Admiral Joe Walsh (Commander Submarine Force U.S. Pacific Fleet) and Captain Ted "Terrible Ted" Nugent (Motor City Madman) vow to meet with every submarine commander, following a serious coverup onboard the submarine USS HAM...
Read full storyThe Spoof! Librarian Quits Over Drug Allegations
Lancaster, England (High Times Staff Reporter) - Mary Jane Nickelbag, head librarian and story archivist for TheSpoof.com, quit her post earlier this week after she was confronted about her suspicious "drug-related behavior".
Read full storyPolitician hopes voters will have slip and fall accidents
Newly elected Guilderland Board Member and personal injury attorney Warren Redlich plans on using his new position to drum up business for his law firm, according to his former friend but now arch rival and political opponent Mike Ricard.
Read full storyU.K.'s "Fresh & Easy" grocery chain to join the likes of Mexico's "Bimbo" bakery and America's "Oscos" drug stores in the Southwest
Hemit, California - Touted as well researched for several years before investing its first chain of grocery stores in the U.S., Tesco's "Fresh & Easy" opened its doors today to a block buster line of single man responding to the grand o...
Read full storyDog the Bounty Hunter's Racial Tirade, A Publicity Stunt?
The Spoof has unearthed a plot that's sure to rock the television community to it's very foundation.
Read full storyToys Recalled For Containing Date Rape Drug
Aqua Dots toys (called Bindeez in Australia) produced in China are being recalled after it was discovered that they are coated with gamma hydrozy butyrate, the famous date rape drug. Three Los Angeles children were hospitalized after being found unc...
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