1) Weigh yourself in the morning.
2) Weigh yourself in a bathful of water while holding a duck.
3) Weigh the water with the duck.
4) Add (1) to (4).
5) Divide (2) by the sum of (5) and (3) multiplied by (2).
6) Place your head in a bucket of sand and convert to a hyperbolic logarithm.
