Solar Electric Chairs

Funny story written by Don Davis

Thursday, 8 November 2007

image for Solar Electric Chairs

Nashville, TN (AP) - In an effort to "Go Green" Al Gore's home state of Tennessee has ordered new Solar Powered Electric Chairs from Bell+Howell. The creator of the Solar Bug Zapper is now venturing into the lucrative capital punishment market.

The biggest downside of the solar electric chair thus far is the midnight executions. Spokesperson Amber Sparks explains "The batteries start losing their charge after sunset. In a test with a laboratory rat the low voltage resulted in a tickling sensation that caused the rat to giggle uncontrollably, roll onto the floor and run away".

Environmentalists claim the Solar Electric Chairs are not carbon neutral due to the methane gasses released by the human body during execution. To solve this problem the state has gone to Sharper Image and purchased Ionic Breeze's "Mr. Methane". The "Mr. Methane" air purifier gently sucks methane and other gases out of the air and purifies them through a revolutionary carbon neutralizing filter. Tennessee's Governor has stated "…and it's amazingly quiet too".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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