The Spoof! Librarian Quits Over Drug Allegations

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Thursday, 8 November 2007

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Lancaster, England (High Times Staff Reporter) - Mary Jane Nickelbag, head librarian and story archivist for, quit her post earlier this week after she was confronted about her suspicious "drug-related behavior".

When asked what led him to believe that Ms. Nickelbag might be toking up on-the-job, Mr. Mark Lowton had this to say:

"Basically it was just her entire physical demeanor... the glassy, red eyes; the loud-talking and inappropriate laughter followed by sleepiness; and her sweet burnt scent. Those things -- plus the fact that I found her using Spoof stories as rolling papers to roll her own joints." (This would appear to explain the dwindling number of stories that have been appearing in the archives over the past couple of months.)

While Mr. Lowton does not believe that he currently has an epidemic on his hands, he is considering giving all employees random drug screening.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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