Newly elected Guilderland Board Member and personal injury attorney Warren Redlich plans on using his new position to drum up business for his law firm, according to his former friend but now arch rival and political opponent Mike Ricard.
"Redlich plans to become a beloved member of the community solely for personal gain", Ricard said at a press conference after the election. "He wants all the citizens of the town to slip on things in public so he can represent them and make huge profits. He also plans on damaging the roads so he can sue the county when people crash their cars. He has no morals at all".
Redlich strongly denied such assertions. "I plan on making Guilderland a place people can be proud to live in!" Redlich said in his post-election enthusiasm. "Thanks to me this will become the best place to live in America - the Land of the Free! We will have the best schools, the best roads, the best pubs! They will be making statues of me and 1,000 years from now I will be remembered as the politician who actually gave a damn!"
Ricard said he will spend the next 10 years attempting to have Redlich impeached".
"Or longer!" Ricard clarified.