Eating And Spitting
I had lunch at the local International House Of Pancakes today, and yet again, I did not see one even low level functionary of the littlest of countries. You would think (if you thought like me) that a truly "international" pancake house would have at least the King of Liechtenstein as a greeter or gladhander of some sort to reassure us that we were eating in a swanky place. No luck.
Read full storyNumber of would-be terrorists on rise in U.K.
The chief of domestic intelligence in Britain has stated that at least 20 million people in Britain pose a "direct threat to national security and public safety" because of their potential to grow beards.
Read full storyHow To Handle Being Panhandled
How many times, on average, do you get panhandled in a year? Outside Seven Eleven's, churches, bus stops, pay toilets, you name a public gathering spot and chances are you have been shaken down by a nice homeless person several times this past week. How do you handle this without being rude or being beaten to death?...
Read full storyHollywood Writer's Strike Means More Reality Shows
As Hollywood writers officially go out on strike, networks are scrambling to fill time slots formally covered by scripted shows. Their solution? Fill those two hours a day with even more reality shows!...
Read full storyAfter Failing With "Save the Dolphins, Save the World," Hayden Panettierre Finds New Cause
In Japan last week, Heroes actress Hayden Panettierre was unable to save a group of dolphins from becoming dinner. The 18 year old and a group of protestors were beaten back by fishermen with poles and hooks when they tried to save a pod of the inte...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com sacks its writers for showing sympathy to WGA strikers; outsources to Bollywood; editors betting no one will know the difference
London, England - An attempt by comedy writers to lend sympathetic support to their brothers and sisters in the Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike was dealt with swiftly and harshly by the editors at one of the world's most popular satire site...
Read full storyTransformers Star Shia LeBeouf Arrested For Drunk and Disorderly
Star of the hit movie Transformers and Disney Channel veteran actor Shia LeBeouf was arrested early this morning on charges of public intoxication and drunk and disorderly in a Chicago pharmacy. The actor refused to leave when asked by a security gu...
Read full storyAl Gore Finds New Cause Of Global Warming
Nobel Prize winner, Al Gore, today announced he has single-handedly found a new major cause of global warming. Haircuts.
Read full storyMI5 Chief: Pacifists Target UK Teenagers With Pop
British kids as vulnerable as 25 have been talked into "peace-related" activity as anti-war campaigners lure them into EVIL ways by playing them Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty songs, the chief of detectives said today.
Read full storyConvicted killer asks Court of Appeal for "Get out of Jail Free" card
Convicted killer Gary Borge, who was found guilty of shooting TV celebrity Jan Dildo several years ago, is asking the Court of Appeal to quash his appeal on the grounds that the judge and jury at his original trial a...
Read full storyIs the Character Louis Walsh really Graham Norton?
Rumours are circulating in Show Biz circles that Louis Walsh is in fact really Graham Norton.
Read full storyFeeling Grinchy? Celebrate Your Heart of Coal as the Holidays Approach
Bah Humbug! Sometimes you just want to be a grinch. Celebrate your inner grinch by being a grouch and frowning on the festive glow of the holidays.
Read full storyNew Executive Order Adds Thumbscrews to Bush's Torture Toolbox
Washinton, DC (AP) - In a monumental signing statement today, President Bush authorized the use of thumbscrews during "enhanced interrogations" by CIA and other US agents.
Read full story'Thousands' of politicians pose UK terror threat
Whitehall - (Conspiracy Mess): Thousands of British politicians pose a threat to national security because of their support for terrorism according to the head of MI5.
Read full storyCrimebotch presenters framed me says convicted Dando killer
Court of Appeal, London - (Stitch-Up Mess): Barry George has told an Appeal Court judge that Crimebotch presenters framed him for Jill Dando's death "because the show would have bombed if that Nick Ross had been collared," acco...
Read full storyPope to ask Bandar for BAE slush fund handout
Vatican City - (Baksheesh Mess): Tuesday's historic state visit by the king of Sordid Arabia to the Vatican is set to focus on the Pontiff's demands for a slice of the BAE slushfund that former ambassador to the US Prince Bandar received from...
Read full storyComet Holmes Heads for Planet Earth!
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Breaking news being broadcast in morse code from the Mount Palomar Observatory Campus indicates that Comet Holmes has changed course and is headed directly for the Earth. Morse code was used in order to avoid creatin...
Read full storyMartina Hingis lands lucrative Sinex Deal
Martina Hingis, the former Tennis ace, who earlier this week tested positive for being monged off her face after snorting a bag of Cocaine during this years Wimbledon, has landed a lucrative sponsorship deal with Vicks to be the new face of their fla...
Read full storyAlonso Joins Reliant
Former world champion and best mate of Lewis Hamilton has sensationally quit the Maclaren team to join the fledgeling Team Reliant Robin. The acrimonious split with Maclaren was largely expected and Alonso had been linked with a possible return to Re...
Read full storyFrance's Sarkozy An Israeli Mossad Agent
PARIS (FMLiveWire) -- French President Nicolas Sarkozy has confirmed that he is an active intelligence agent for Israel's Mossad in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire.
Read full storyMan Shoots Firework Out Of His Anus At Gordon Brown
Prime Minister Gordon Brown narrowly avoided serious injury today when a man in the crowd waiting outside 10 Downing Street shot a firework out of his anus at him. The man, believed to be in his late fifties, dropped his trousers and inserted a lo...
Read full storyInjury Lawyer sues himself
Personal Injury Lawyer Phil Mepoketz, has filed a negligence claim against himself after suffering a paper-cut whilst filling in a lottery slip at work.
Read full storySelf-Help Guidance on How to Write a The Spoof! Article (Part One)
1. Stand on your head. The flow of blood to your cranium will help the flow of ideas.
Read full storyAtari SMEGMAtron-7000 Will Hit Shelves Before Holidays
US and A - Atari, Inc. has announced that it's new SMEGMAtron-7000 will be ready just in time for the onslaught of holiday shopping this year.
Read full storyThe Tent, Part I
"Come on. Take it easy. Give it a go. The sky won't tumble down. Join us and let's spend one night in the bosom of the rocky mountain, under the bright stars, with night breeze rising from the fragrant wild bushes and flowers. Let's hear the call of the wild in the dead of night. Forget about clean bed sheets, TV, World News, politics, glamorous celebrities, greed, plots, promotio...
Read full story"Sissy" Sports On The Rise
In the USA, manly contact sports such as boxing, football, basketball, hockey and sex are losing popularity, giving way to what experts call "sissy sports" ...
Read full storyAre You Smarter Than A Super Model?
Gisele Bundchen wants to remain the world's richest model and is insisting that she be paid in almost any currency but the U.S. dollar.
Read full storyGuilderland NY Election Going Nuts!
Politics in Guilderland NY has long been strange, but recent events have elevated the oddities. First some background. After 100 years of Republican rule, the party splintered in a factional dispute some 10 years ago. One leader of the castaways,...
Read full storyAlbany Times Union Wins Lead Bottom Award
Journalists Without Boundaries, a Myanmar-based group, today awarded the Albany NY Times Union with its Medal for Journalistic Heroism, the Lead Bottom.
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