Feeling Grinchy? Celebrate Your Heart of Coal as the Holidays Approach

Funny story written by Julia Bodeeb White

Monday, 5 November 2007

Bah Humbug! Sometimes you just want to be a grinch. Celebrate your inner grinch by being a grouch and frowning on the festive glow of the holidays.


Scream "Fraud" every time you see a Santa on the street.

Yell "Bah Hambug" and slam the door when Christmas carolers arrive on your front porch.

Donate 1 cent to holiday charities and ask for a receipt.

Send a nasty memo about wasting company time to the person circulating the invite memo about the Secret Santa gift program.

Never smile the entire holiday season.

Don't attend any holiday parties, ever.

Don't send holiday cards and discard without opening any cards you receive.

Cancel the corporate holiday party.

Eschew a holiday tree or decorations.

Send out a memo at work forbidding holiday decorations.

Mutter "WTF" every time you hear holiday jingles on the radio.

Eat lots of green foods to enhance the greenish tone of your skin.

Make your employees work the full day on Christmas Eve.

Make "Mean and Green" your holiday motto!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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