God to Bill Walsh: Use Single-Wing Offense or Go to Hell
HEAVEN (Heewack News Network) -- God has delivered an ultimatum to former San Francisco 49ers Coach Bill Walsh, who died on Monday: He can coach Heaven's team using a single-wing offense, or he can go straight to hell.
Read full storyChief Justice Roberts pissed?
Port Clyde, Maine - (Ass Mess): "Maybe he was testing NASA liquor consumption protocols," a Justice Department source commented today following the news that Chief Justice John Roberts had fallen over at his holiday home in Port Clyde, Main...
Read full storyDrinking Water Causes Dentists Dole Dilemna
The fate of the British Dentist hangs by a thread it seems. Since the recent floods in Yorkshire and more recently down South, people have been drinking bottled water.
Read full storyTornado hits London
The British hurricane season officially began when a tornado hit London. However that wasn't the start of the matter, it all began about six days earlier when a hurricane ripped through the heart of Leeds, destroying several canapés, and over six...
Read full storyHarrison Ford up for Spoof! The Motion Picture role of Gnarly Erik
Hollywood, California - (Blockbuster Mess): Indiana Jones movie actor Harrison Ford is reported to be in the running to play the leading role of Gnarly Erik in the forthcoming blockbuster movie Spoof! The Motion Picture.
Read full storyGordon Brown Assimilated by Bush Borg
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Gordon Brown met with George W. Bush and was assimilated into the "TERRORISM" cult.
Read full storyInspiration behind Beatles Track Finally Revealed
There are many myths surrounding the reasons why John Lennon and Paul McCartney came up with the strange combination of words which led to the song entitled "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"; some commentators have said it is to do with the f...
Read full storyBear Grylls a little grizzly
Following revelations that Bear Grylls, the ex-SAS star of 'Born Survivor' had stayed nights in a hotel instead of surviving on a desert island, there was more startling news yesterday.
Read full storyBottled water scam
Gallon-sized bottled water jugs have long been a staple product in home emergency kits for times of natural disaster, but over the last several years individually sized bottles have become a $11 billion-a-year business.
Read full storyNASA Officials Investigating Drunk Astronauts
NASA officials are investigating reports that astronauts were allowed to fly shortly after drinking alcohol and after officials were warned that they were inebriated and were flight risks.
Read full story"Librarian Hotties" Calendar Planned for 2008
ATLANTA, GA (AP Newsliar) -- The American Library Association (ALA) is issuing its first ever "Librarian Hotties" calendar. The calendar will be available for ordering this November.
Read full storyBald Eagles Select Humans As National Primate of the United States
AP Newsliar -- After a lengthy selection process, Bald Eagles have chosen humans to be the national primate of the United States.
Read full storyWomen Drivers TV Show Draws Criticism
TheSpoof recently reported on a reality TV show with Danica Patrick titled Women Drivers. The idea caught the attention of feminist groups and brought with it a sw...
Read full storyDa Vinci's Last Supper conspiracy theory: is woman holding a condom?
Sistine Chapel, Rome - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Shocking new internet claims about Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper allegedly contain hidden images of a woman holding a condom and pleading with Jesus.
Read full storyCIA and Conservative Movement Fade Away Latest Broadway Hit
New york City (IP) - A Broadway hit has drawn a large audience and portrays mime actors in the role the national press who silently tell the story of political observers and scholars who study the CIA and political movements. Throughout the play acto...
Read full storyScientist declare "Urinating on the rise"
Scientists in Alabama, Sunderland, have announced that a three year research programme has revealed the the levels of Urine produced by the average UK male has increased by 34.5% and is up by 19.5% in UK Females.
Read full storyGreat White Loan Shark spotted off Cornwall
Lands End, Cornwall - (Ass mess): Cornwall residents are said to be terrified at the second confirmed sighting today of a Great WHite Loan Shark seen basking in the balmy waters off Mousehole this weekend.
Read full storyMost Records Broken Since Records Began
More records have been broken in the last month than since records began, the National Office for Breaking revealed yesterday. 'July was a record breaking month for breaking records' said NOB represenative Keith Quigley, 'quite a few reco...
Read full storyTroops Needed in Iraq Until 2009
The Pentagon, Washingdung D.C. (IP) - American Generals stated today that troops are needed in Iraq until 2009 so that if a Democrat wins the White House that the Democrats will be blamed for the war and/or defeat in the war.
Read full storyRicky Martin loving the UK lifestyle as new album launch looms
Ricky Martin this week declared that he found his new life in his £1.7 million luxury pad in England an inspiration towards his new album material. The 36 year old Puerto Rican moved to his 9 bedroom 12 acre estate in Ashington, Northumberland in Jan...
Read full storyJet Convulsion Laboratory sold Branson doomed rocket pipe dream
Necker Island - (Farcical Press): Richard Branson is said to be livid that reporters have discovered his doomed space rocket venture was a cannabis bong pipe dream sold to him by a scam aerospace company that quickly closed down without a trace after...
Read full storyIraqi Style Football Played By Girlymen
Bagadad, Iraq (IP) - Warning: Fans of football other than the American style should get a box of tissue paper to wipe the tears from their eyes as they read this article. Fans of real football (as played by red blooded Americans) all agree that there...
Read full storyBin Laden Caught and Held on Secret Island
Bongo Bongo Island, South Pacific (IP) - News trickling out of the Bongo Bongo Pacific Archipelago reveals what the US Government and the Office of the Military Industrial Complex have successfully kept secret for so long - that Bin Laden was capture...
Read full storyG.W. Bush Stuns Music Fans With Virtuoso Violin Solos
Vienna Sausage, Austria (IP) - First violinist G.W. Bush stunned music lovers with his fiery virtuosic violin solo played during the first movement of Vivaldi's great classic, "We Don't Need Another Nero". Bush plays first fiddle f...
Read full storySpoof Writer Found Googled to Death
Office of World Governor, New York (IP) - Spoof writer Drugtestallpoliticians was found googled to death by Interpol agent and porn star Hetera Phobia. The Spoof writer had suddenly thought of the idea to enter his Spoof name on Google and stayed up...
Read full storyGordon Brown To Use Jedi Mind Control During First Meeting With Bush
Ahead of his first meeting (as Prime Minister) with US President G W Bush, Gordon Brown has revealed the secret tactics he will employ in order to try and claw back some dignity and self respect for Britain: he will attempt to assert himself during t...
Read full storyUnderpants Found Orbiting Jupiter!
The Russian Space Probe Soyuz IV - currently on a mission to explore the surface of Jupiter - has instead discovered a pair of Underpants orbiting the giant planet!...
Read full storyRon Paul, Vikki Carr, Andy Roddick - Fans Can Wreck Lives
In a sad twist today several writers at TheSpoof.com claim that they are being abused and harassed by members of the general public who seem to be, frankly, 2 sandwiches short of a picnic, a couple of slates short of a full roof, in other words, bark...
Read full storyPensioners New Craze "Free-Gardening" Causing Injuries
A new craze is sweeping Britain, causing accident units across the U.K serious concerns as pensioners flood in with injuries such as "severely scratched hands" and "twisted shoulders".
Read full storyGordon Brown Punches Bush After U.S Meeting
British Prime Minister has thrown a punch during a US press conference after a comment made by President George Bush over his gaining the premiership.
Read full storyTips to Make Friends
1. Dispel all bad habits such as biting you fingernails, biting your toenails, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, smoking your breakfast, smoking salmon, talking to yourself, and talking to yourself in the third person.
Read full storyBritney Spears Bodyguard 'Was Just Protecting Her Vagina'
Britney Spears' bodyguard is facing a battery charge after allegedly 'battling' with photographers who were trying to take pictures of the singer's vagina.
Read full storyBig Brother Chanelle Tries To Make Her Mind Up
DAY 61: There was more trickery and fakery over the weekend when Chanelle Hayes, the Big Brother housemate, almost walked out of the show, only to later reconsider her impulsive act,...
Read full storyIraq Become Giants Of World Football
There was at last something to celebrate in Iraq over the weekend, when the Iraqi national football team lifted the Asian Cup trophy after beating the pre-tournament favourites Saudi Arabia
Read full storyAngry Dance-Off between TheSpoof.com Contributors in the Works
Geneva, Switzerland (Swiss Army Naif Staff Writer) - Swiss authorities have agreed to provide a neutral site for an angry dance-off between 'Who The Hell Is Mohit?' and 'SpaceElevator'. The grudge match was deemed necessary after the...
Read full storyDUB hip-hop custom car magazine calls car made of vegetables 'fly'; sales expected to hit new record high with hemp SUV model
City of Industry, California - Calling it a major victory for the Green Movement, a car made of hemp and rapeseed oil, called 'Eco One', won a key endorsement by hip-hop custom car magazine, DUB, today. Eco One is made by Warwick Manufacturin...
Read full storyCities Sue Gangs
Raptown, Michigan (IP) - Cities across America are taking gangs to court and suing them in what appears to be a novel new trend. Police across the lower 48 states had to go on too many gang related calls and were not able to sit around doughnut sho...
Read full storySouthern Baptists and Taliban Join Forces
Las Vegas, Nevada (IP) - The Reverend James Jones who heads the powerful Southern Baptists organization and Ayatollah G.W. Bushmeni Talibani who is world leader of the First Taliban Church of Holy High Fidelity have announced that the two religious g...
Read full storyBrando Wants to Play Mark Lowton in The Spoof Movie
Marlon Brando flew into Bollywood on non-stop flight from South Africa to meet with Executive producers of The Spoof.Com Movie. He is upset at being passed over for playing one of the leading roles, current editor Mark Lowton. When asked why he was s...
Read full story"I don't need nothing, but I've gotta have that faux foot!"
I recently had a cyber conversation with this guy who e-mailed me a picture of a hollowed out foot that he used to hide his bottle of "Who hit John?" from his wife.
Read full story7th Heaven Returns: Jessica Biel to Star
The CW Network has decided to take a new gamble on an old series, bringing 7th Heaven back with Jessica Biel to star. The series ended in the spring of 2007, and CW plans to bring it back again in 2008.
Read full storyDisney Makes Deal With Hustler's Barely Legal; Miley Cyrus in the Wings
Hustler's Barely Legal unit announced a deal today with Bob Disney Studios that will allow the adult video production company first crack at signing Disney's young stars when they reach 18 years of age. Hannah Montana star Mi...
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