Port Clyde, Maine - (Ass Mess): "Maybe he was testing NASA liquor consumption protocols," a Justice Department source commented today following the news that Chief Justice John Roberts had fallen over at his holiday home in Port Clyde, Maine and had to be rushed to hosiptal.
Roberts, 52, took a mysterious tumble in the potting shed behind his summer home where he regularly spends quality time meditating over thorny issues such as Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' inexpilcable firing of 8 federal prosecutors.
Neighbors denied that Roberts had been seen earlier munching on pretzels.
But local newspaper reports have said that Roberts has a hystery of seizures.
The last time one of these struck was on a golf course in 1995 where George Bush Senior reminded him that his mentor Chief Justice Rehnquist had had a thrity year long love affair with a morphine-derivative prescription medication "and regularly tumbled down the courtroom steps" when the stresses of work became too much for him.
Tonight Roberts is said to be "comfortable" in his hospital bed despite reports that like John Ashcroft before him he may well receive a bedside 'comfort visit' from Gonzales.
Lisa Nowak is 69.
