Britney Spears' vagina tour runs into opposition
Memphis Tenn. Jan 5 2007. Once Britney Spears' vagina was emancipated and set free to pursue a career on her own she's been on a whirlwind tour promoting her tell all book titled, "Your Cup of Tea is Not My Bag", that's a warn...
Read full storyCollaborating snitch named as new primate of Warsaw
Warsaw - (Rioters): A colleague-snitching communist collaborator has been appointed to the top Church job in Warsaw after being voted the most charismatic candidate in Pope Ratzinger's little red aintgottaprayer book.
Read full storyPat Robertson warned of Yahweh's thunderbolt season
Virginia Beach - (Ass Mess): Age-defying protein pancake peddler and evangelical bigot the Reverend Pat Robertson has once again tempted the derision of Jehovah by terrifying TheoCon TV viewers with his prediction of the killing of millions of Americ...
Read full storyPresident Bush Is Rubber, The American Public Is Glue - Whatever The American Public Says Bounces Off Bush And Sticks To The American Public
Washington - President Bush announced a new policy today that would protect him from the damaging opinions and words from the American public.
Read full storyPoetry Slam Ends In Fight - Seven People Treated For Girly Slap Marks, Sissy Scratches
Seattle - A poetry slam here ended in tragedy yesterday when a fight broke out among the twenty-seven poets at the Sip 'N' Surf coffee shop. Though no one was killed seven members had to be treated for girly slap marks and sissy scratches. "It was...
Read full storyWomen are naked under clothes
A group that makes observations noticed that all women are totally, 100%, shamelessly naked under their outer clothes.
Read full storyFat, ugly, disgusting, stupid, degenerate, losers protest Donald Trump
New York, Jan 5 2007 Billionaire Donald Trump announced he would not be running for public office today. Also, he decided to win no friends or influence anyone .
Read full storyTop nuke spook dumped after Los Alamos Polonium theft linked to ex-KGB spy's death
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The head of the National Nuclear Security Administration, Linton Brooks, has been dumped by US Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman after the theft of Polonium 210 from the Los Alamos Laboratory found its way into a lethal dose...
Read full storyIT'S WAR! Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears Fight Outside Night Club!
Las Vegas - The biggest, most anticipated battle ever to be fought took place last night outside a Las Vegas night club.
Read full storyBBC Bosses Say New Show Will Be Purrfect
In what some critics are calling as a total waste of money, the BBC has announced plans for a new series of popular comedy Blackadder. But with a difference. The lead roles will all be played by cats.
Read full storyDick Cheney's growling face stays that way, emergency surgery needed.
No stranger to the surgical processs, Vice President Dick Cheney was rushed to Baltimore memorial hospital when it became readily apparent that his trademark "growl" look wouldn't leave his face after a spewing a barrage of profane word...
Read full storyNew games console on the way
Today, Thursday 4/1/07 Shock World ® announced their first console, Code-named 'Shocker' and pencilled for a late 2009 early 2010 release, shocker will feature the ability to play all current disc format including both Blu-Ray and HDDVD thanks to a new micro chip made just for Shocker®.
Read full storyActor Richard Gere Spies First Gerbil of Spring, Naked Paris Hilton Claims It Was Mongoloid
LONDON -- Actor Richard Gere declared in a letter published in today's London Times that he had spied the first gerbil of spring while standing in his hotel room overlooking Hyde Park.
Read full storyMcCririck Goes Under The Knife And Gets A New Filly
Channel four's horse racing pundit and picking his nose then eating it dirty fecker, John McCririck, has stunned crowds with his amazing new look.
Read full storyDirk Benedict in Tenuous Escape from Big Brother House
TV star and ladies man Dirk Benedict was sensationally liberated from the Big Brother house last night after fashioning an escape vehicle from the everyday detritus he found lying around.
Read full storyWater We Going To Do About This Problem Asks National Park?
History is being made today in Canada as Zeke Buford, a dismissed national parks worker, is taking the authority that runs Niagara Falls to court.
Read full storyBoycott Berates Ashes Shambles
England's dramatic poor performances in Australia this winter have prompted calls for a major upheaval in the way the English game is run.
Read full storyPressure Group Wags A Finger At New Football Magazine
Hugh Hefner, Playboy supremo, is said to be in talks with the Football Association to finalise a new title in his soft porn empire.
Read full storyPalestinians Celebrate Creation of Palestinian State, End of Israel
TEL AVIV (Reuters)-- Palestinians were wildly jubilant on Thursday as they enthusiastically celebrated the creation of a Palestinian state.
Read full storyMcCartney Heather Attack Shocker
Paul McCartney has shocked the world by assaulting his estranged wife at his home today.
Read full storyBritney Spears Nude, Paris Hilton Naked Refuse To Fallate Death Row Albino
COLUMBIA, S.C. - Sven Oafsen is no ordinary Norwegian.
Read full storyBBC In Secret Plan To Scrap Programmes From 2007 Roster
It has been revealed by a BBC insider that a series of TV programmes planned for the 2007 roster have been scrapped due to the content being described as 'unsuitable for British consumption & verging on crass'.
Read full storySatirist Filbert Joins Vagina's Anonymous
Spoof satirist, Buck E Filbert joined a Beverley Hills Vagina's Anonymous group today in an effort to stop writing about the "personal software" of celebrities. Filbert's articles, "Britney Spear's gift wraps Federlines tes...
Read full storyOllie Forced To Pack Up His Troubles In His Old Kit-bag But He's Not Smiling
A pensioner from Cleethorps is this morning hopping mad at having received call-up papers that could see him end up patrolling the streets of Baghdad.
Read full storyBotham Slam Dunks His Own Head
The top of Ian 'Beefy' Botham's head blew off today, as the former cricket hero was delivering his verdict on England's sorry performance in Bulgaria as they crashed out of the Gillette Cup 2 nil.
Read full storyHull City Up To Tenth
After a difficult first season in the Premier League last year, things were looking decidedly better for Premiership newboys Hull City today, as the new fixture list was published giving the Tigers a winable opening-day encounter against Chelsea at S...
Read full storyNY Times Thinks it knows what God Wills for Marriage
How could the NYTimes know God's will for marriage since it is run by a bunch of gay, lesbian , bi-sexual, transgendered, transexual,gender indifferent (BLT)-loving, divorce-advocating,feminist- supporting liberal media elites?...
Read full storyGod Admits Being Drunk While Speaking to Pat Robertson
God admitted today that he was intoxicated when He spoke to evangelical broadcaster Pat Robertson about a "mass killing" to occur in 2007. In a written statement, God apologized and said Robertson was "much too dense" to understa...
Read full storyUri Geller: My Penis Had A Head Of Its Own Until I Bent It To My Will
TEL AVIV -- Israeli panormalist Uri Geller revealed yesterday that, without his knowledge, his own penis had been promoting itself and disparaging its owner in satires posted on the Internet. "I learned the hard way that my penis had a head of its...
Read full storyBush tells truth about socks
Washington (AP) - President George W. Bush who is notorious for being a compulsive liar actually told the truth at a press conference this afternoon. Near the end of the press conference Bush was asked by CNN Correspondent Dick Long what color socks...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Heads up the House of Representatives, American Women Follow Suit
For the first time, the Speaker of the House is a woman; and women all over America are taking note and following her example.
Read full storySatirist Filbert Thrown Overboard; Swallowed By Britney Spear's Vagina
In a modern day version of parable, Jonah and the Whale, young satirist, Buck E. Filbert was thrown overboard today by fellow satirist's, "Gnarly Eric" and "Queen Mudder". After being tossed into an angry ocean, Britn...
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