'Burning Man' Torched -- Arson Suspected
Black Rock Desert, Nevada (Reuterus) - More than 40,000 Burning Man festival attendees awoke this morning to the charred remains of their patron saint, the Burning Man (a twelve-meter high wooden effigy), who erupted in flames days ahead of the sched...
Read full storyGripper Stebson's Top Five Karaoke songs
Gripper Stebson, the unpopular bully from TV's Grange Hill gives his five favourite songs for Karaoke:...
Read full storyChevy Chase voted most likely to make sequels
In his year book, popular comic Chevy Chase was voted the 'one most likely to make sequels to mediocre films'...
Read full storyKate Middleton denied US visa after consulate sniffer dogs' alarm
US Embassy, London - (Ass Mess): Kate Middleton has been turned down for a US visitor's visa after a routine interview at the embassy's consular section alarmed sniffer dogs used to determine which applicants are regular drug users.
Read full storyParis Hilton and Pope Benedict expecting a baby
Paris Hilton and Pope Benedict are expecting their first child together.
Read full storyJosh Brolin commandeers submarine and fires nuke while drunk on Barbara Streisands urine
"Hollow Man" actor and son of James "Hotel"Brolin, Josh Brolin commandeered a US nuclear submarine during a nighttime drinking binge on stepmother Barbara Steisands vintag...
Read full storyRoy Keane's Dad Never Poked a Porker
LONDON VIEW: The bare-knuckle fight over defender Gabriel Heinze is the latest in a long war between mega-rich Manchester and loser-Liverpool.
Read full storyRepublicans Abroad threaten to torch Bush porno portrait gallery
Soho, London - (Ass Mess): Outraged members of Republicans Abroad International have threatened to torch the Soho gallery exhibiting a huge new portrait of George W Bush composed entirely of a collage of porn magazine pictures.
Read full storyMan Tries to Grab Photographer's Tits
MITCHELL, SOUTH DAKOTA (AP Newsliar) -- A freelance photographer frequently employed by AP Newsliar captured her assailant on film today as the man tried to fondle her fun-bags.
Read full storyHillary donor wanted for grand theft
California - (Ass mess): A Democratic Party fun raiser and major Hillary Clinton campaign donor is a fugitive from justice.
Read full storySUV-owning Americans tell Edwards "get stuffed"
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): American voters told Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards that they'll give up their SUVs the day he gives up his gargantuan White House ego-drive.
Read full storyDiana's early money-laundering years by William
London - (Ass Mess): The heir apparent to the Pretender to the Throne has written a book about Diana, Princess of Wales's early money-laundering days when she was a gauche, naive and eager drug-mule, smuggling crack cocaine proceeds on behalf of...
Read full storyHuge cloud formation spelling the word "FUCK" seen over London
A cloud formation that could be seen over most of London, England, which clearly spelt the word FUCK, has lead to a frenzy of speculation and interpretation.
Read full storyDentist asks - have you seen my teeth?
Ms Alicia Keysinthedoor (no relation) a Shropshire dentist, known for her carelessness has now lost a priceless set of teeth, that she extracted.
Read full storyMrs Goggin's day Off
Following calls for a sequel, Ferris Bueller's day off is to be remade as Mrs Goggin's day off.
Read full storyFilm Maker's controversy
A ground-breaking film director has once again courted controversy by asking the simple question: Would this money be better spent on a hospital, or in education, or somewhere with lasting value?...
Read full storyHoroscopes all made up
A controversial study has shown that astrology, and Horoscopes in particular are all made by power crazed elves wanting to change the world.
Read full storyKrusty the Clown and Paul Daniels for TV Show
Beloved cartoon character Paul Daniels is to link up with bedevilled Magician Krusty the Clown in a brand new TV programme.
Read full storyJellyfish fossils found
Scientists in Arizona have found rare fossilised remains of a Jellyfish, the first time any such remains have been found in the fossil record.
Read full storyDickens to pen new book from beyond the grave
Charles Dickens, prolific writer of brick sized books is to come out of retirement one last time, even though the author has been dead for more than 150 years.
Read full storyBasil Brush rushed to hospital for anal surgery
Well-respected puppet stand-up comedian Basil Brush has been admitted to a private clinic for surgery to his anus. The entertainer's agent said that the anthropomorphic fox raconteur, whose catch phrase &...
Read full storyKermit the Frog to join the Dark Side
News from the death star is that beloved Muppet Kermit the Frog has joined the dark side. The hero to many who grew up in the late 1970's and early 1980's is now serving alongside Darth Vader, and Mr Burns from The Simpsons.
Read full storyPublic tells Amy Whinehouse "No, no, no!"
Opinion polls over the last 48 hours show that most members of the public are sick and tired of hearing about singer and part-time crack-whore Amy Whinehouse.
Read full storyMum's the Word on Education Plans
The Scottish Nationalist Party are carrying out the the promise that they made in their manifesto with regard to raising the school leaving age.
Read full storyCatnapping
Research carried out at Glasgow University suggests that cats are getting arthritis at an earlier age. The reasons given are a bad diet and not enough exercise.
Read full storySenator Larry Craig is Gay... Not!
Boise, Idaho (Lavender Magazine) - Senior Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig has "in"-ned himself once again, stating for the record that he is not a gay man. His most recent troubles erupted after a 'misunderstanding' over lewd...
Read full storySenator Craig Says "What's Wrong With a Quickie? All Republicans Do it"
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Defiant Republican Senator Larry Craig denied any wrongdoing on Tuesday, asking, "What's wrong with a quickie now and then? All Republicans do it…even in Congress and the White House. George and Dick and Karl would...
Read full storyWashington, D.C., Declared a Ghost Town
Following the example set by Karl Rove, Tony Snow, Alberto Gonzales, and numerous others, residents are leaving the city in droves.
Read full storyBush Adds New Outhouse to the Rose Garden
Washingtoon D.C. - President Bush, seeking solace for his midnight bowel movements has built a new Presidential one holer out back in the Rose Garden.
Read full storyPlanetarium Features Real Planets and Stars
Pahokee, Florida (IP) - Pahokee, Florida recently made headlines when a boy from that town won the 200 inch wide Mount Palomar telescope. The telescope was bought on eBay for $14.95. Unfortunately the lad has grown tired of the great scope and the t...
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