Senator Larry Craig is Gay... Not!

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

image for Senator Larry Craig is Gay... Not!
"I'm not gay (...but my boyfriend is!)" - Sen. Larry 'Teabag' Craig

Boise, Idaho (Lavender Magazine) - Senior Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig has "in"-ned himself once again, stating for the record that he is not a gay man. His most recent troubles erupted after a 'misunderstanding' over lewd behavior with an undercover police officer in a Minneapolis airport bathroom stall in June.

He added that he is a devout Methodist Rancher who loves his wife, although not necessarily in that way. He also loves his work serving the people of Idaho and serving on the Board of Directors for the National Rifle Association. Craig first learned how to clean a rifle while serving in the Idaho Army National Guard. Before that he was a member of the Delta Chi fraternity and student body president at the University of Idaho.

"This is all part of a smear campaign by the liberal media and the Idaho Statesman newspaper in particular," said Craig. "Do I look gay to you?" he continued. "Bi-curious?... Maybe. However, I do possess 'gay-dar' and it allows me to spot gay people. For this reason I can tell you that when I look in the mirror I do not see a homosexual."

When reached for comment, Junior Idaho Republican Senator Michael Crapo (pronounced "Cray-poe") had nothing to add. Meanwhile, publisher Larry Flynt has called Senator Craig the hypocritical Assh*le-of-the-Month.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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