A controversial study has shown that astrology, and Horoscopes in particular are all made by power crazed elves wanting to change the world.
Cindy Ical, a local woman said: "Well, that completely spoils my day. My Horoscope said that I could expect a windfall and that I would meet the man who would change my life today, but now it looks like I may as well not even bother to get out of bed."
A spokesman for the Elves: "It is no great secret, we just make it up, and if people happen to believe in it, then that is their own fault, and it is nothing whatsoever to do with us, matey - After all, your Horoscope says to avoid water and electricity, and that you will meet a stranger today. It is both good advice, and an almost mathematical certainty."
The Elves have asked us to point out the fact that they don't actually exist.