McCartney takes over Cream reunion to grand applause

Funny story written by Frank Cotolo

Sunday, 8 May 2005

image for McCartney takes over Cream reunion to grand applause

LONDON -- Paul McCartney showed up at the recent Cream reunion in London and took the place of all three Cream members for six songs.

McCartney played guitar, bass and drums and did the vocals to five Cream hits without the help of the group.

Cream guitarist Eric Clapton said, "It takes three of us to make Cream sound great, but all you need is one Paul McCartney to really do it."

Cream bass player Jack Bruce said, "Of course he is great, he has his original liver."

Cream drummer Ginger Baker said, "I thought I was playing, but it was him."

McCartney came to the reunion show unannounced, though there was a bright, new star in the sky just as it became dark in London. Scientists made note of the strange star. Then, when McCartney appeared at the concert, scientists sighed in relief.

"It was obvious when Paul took the stage," said Perkle Michloner, astronomer, "that the atmosphere around Earth was altered by Paul's presence."

McCartney was not supposed to be in London at the time. Reports placed him in Germany, where he was being asked by the German government to write a song about how Germany was sorry about the whole Nazi incident.

But on stage he came, immediately smiling.

"We knew then that we had to let him do some songs all by himself," said Clapton. "After all, it was Paul who really did all the tracks on our album Fresh Cream."

It has long been suspected that Sir Paul McCartney, while in The Beatles, was the true talent behind all of Cream's early records. Now, Clapton admitted to it.

"I wouldn't even know a C progression were it not for Paul," said Eric.

"He taught me there were no strings missing on a bass guitar," said Bruce. "At first, you know, I thought two strings were missing."

"I thought I was playing," said Baker as his head wobbled and he drooled from each side of his mouth.

After Paul handed the instruments back to the original Cream members, the audience sat through just one more song.

"After Paul's magic," said Eric, "why would anyone stay to listen to us any more?"

In the audience, a number of well known classic rockers commented.

"Amazing as always," said Peter Noone.

"Good vocals, too," said Eric Burden.

"My god, is it night time?" said Keith Richards.

"He don't come around much no more," said Gerry Marsden.

"I liked John better," said George Martin.

"We wish he would consider doing a reunion with us," said the remaining members of The Doors.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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