There were 196 spoof news stories published in 2001. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.

Charlie Dimmock's nipples fail to erect

Funny story: Charlie Dimmock's nipples fail to erect

The BBC switchboard was jammed after last week's edition of Groundforce brought a flood of complaints from angry male viewers.

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Uncovered - '80's 'Sunday Sport' Stories Scam!

Funny story: Uncovered - '80's 'Sunday Sport' Stories Scam!

It was just one gigantic hoax, folks! Those colourful Sunday Sport stories from the eighties that gripped the nation's imagination were nothing more than barefaced lies!...

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Ann Widdecombe Not Anorexic

Funny story: Ann Widdecombe Not Anorexic

Sources close to the Conservative Party today reiterated claims that Ann Widdecombe was not in fact anorexic. In refuting the claims, the way would now seem clear for Miss Widdecombe to stand for the Tory Leadership.

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Hanes To Produce Crotch Sock

Funny story: Hanes To Produce Crotch Sock

The Hanes Company, long known for it fine undershirts, socks, and underwear, delved into a new market with the announcement of their new line of crotch socks.

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Steven Gately Considers Return To Closet

Funny story: Steven Gately Considers Return To Closet

In a dramatic change of heart, Boyzone member Stephen Gately is poised to announce that he is straight.

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English Teacher Given Long Sentence

Funny story: English Teacher Given Long Sentence

Yesterday, Jonathan Gasoven, English Teacher at Laughborough School, Middlesex, was given a long sentence by Judge Mortimer Mcloud.

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Magician Pulls Hat Out Of Rabbit!

Funny story: Magician Pulls Hat Out Of Rabbit!

The Great Gorgonzola, master magician with 'The Zwumpee Baloney Circus' troupe, yesterday unveiled his new trick to a crowd of reporters in London.

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Queen Mother: She won't wear nickers, revelation!

Funny story: Queen Mother: She won't wear nickers, revelation!

The Queen Mother made a firm stand against would-be thieves yesterday when she said that she "couldn't abide people who steal things".

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Lara Croft - The Reality of the Tomb Raider

Funny story: Lara Croft - The Reality of the Tomb Raider

Developers at Core design, the people who 'gave birth' to Lara Croft, sex-icon of the virtual world, have announced that Ms. Croft has taken her life into her own hands and now acts independently of the team at Core.

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School days are the best of your life.

Funny story: School days are the best of your life.

A shocking revelation came to light earlier today from the Minister of Education that is sure to cause controversy.

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Planet of the Apes Movie Further Confuses Teenager

Funny story: Planet of the Apes Movie Further Confuses Teenager

The new Mark Wahlberg movie Planet of the Apes has come under fire for adding to a teenage boys sexual confusion.

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New Strain of Rabies Found in Ants!

Funny story: New Strain of Rabies Found in Ants!

Last week, Scientists at the University of Wales discovered a new strain of rabies in ants.

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The Flying Pensioner Phenomenon

Funny story: The Flying Pensioner Phenomenon

The Health and Safety Executive has recently been called in to investigate a spate of freak accidents, involving 'flying pensioners', that continue to plague nursing homes in the Border regions of Scotland.

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What A Rip Off - Cruel BBC Con Exposed

Funny story: What A Rip Off - Cruel BBC Con Exposed

What do Sir David Attenborough, Craig Doyle and Keith Floyd have in common? They're all fakes according to Jim Wriddle, who worked in the BBC canteen for more than thirty years.

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Arse found on Mars

Funny story: Arse found on Mars

Scientists today released findings that suggest a great big arse has been found on Mars.

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Manson 'Normal' Shock

Funny story: Manson 'Normal' Shock

Outrageous rocker Marilyn Manson has once again shocked the rock establishment by announcing his decision to become "normal".

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British Weather Boom Smashes Records!

Funny story: British Weather Boom Smashes Records!

The British weather boom continues. According to a leading meteorological expert we've already had more weather this year than in the last three years put together.

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Escapologist Gets Roped Into Prison Escape Bid!

Funny story: Escapologist Gets Roped Into Prison Escape Bid!

Yesterday it transpired that an escapologist by the name of Keys Maloney was involved in a prison escape bid with auctioneer Harry Dunworthy. The bid, which took place at Dartmoor, involved Keys Maloney in infiltrating an auction house and waiting p...

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Teenager admits daft stunt not influenced by TV

Funny story: Teenager admits daft stunt not influenced by TV

A teenager yesterday admitted that a ludicrously stupid stunt he had pulled was completely his own idea and not at all influenced by TV or films.

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Folic Acid Good, Home-Made Acid Makes You Crazy

Funny story: Folic Acid Good, Home-Made Acid Makes You Crazy

A medical report published last week states that the popular supplement taken by pregnant mothers may raise the chances of a pregnancy resulting in twins. Many women take folic acid during pregnancy to prevent their child from getting spina bifida or...

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Prince William wants all students bar-coded

Funny story: Prince William wants all students bar-coded

The Students Union expressed its horror at proposals by his Royal Highness, Prince William , that all students should be tattooed with barcodes.

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Blue Blue Peter Blew Elephant

Funny story: Blue Blue Peter Blew Elephant

A probe was launched at the BBC today amid claims that award winning children's television programme Blue Peter was making use of subliminal messages designed to warp young minds.

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Exam exams

Funny story: Exam exams

School kids in Arizona are to start a new subject as part of their syllabus: exams.

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KKK Image Shaken By Gay Bias Claim

Funny story: KKK Image Shaken By Gay Bias Claim

The Ku Klux Klan has long been known for its ideals of being a caring and impartial group. The group that would set fire to crosses so non-believers could be reminded of Jesus' sacrifice even at night. A group who was just searching for what we...

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Boo Boo Bear Gay

As most kids, I was always a big fan of Yogi Bear. So when I heard that Boo Boo & Yogi were a pair I sent one of my field agents to investigate.

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Bidding Ends On Kidman-Cruise Divorce Jokes

Funny story: Bidding Ends On Kidman-Cruise Divorce Jokes

CBS' The Late Show with David Letterman has emerged the victor in the most heated jokes auction in entertainment history.

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Teenage Girl 76% Compatible With Josh Hartnett

Funny story: Teenage Girl 76% Compatible With Josh Hartnett

A simple numerical test has proven that 14 year old Kayleigh Roberts of Atlanta, Georgia is 76% compatible with the actor Josh Hartnett.

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Bog Theives Cause Brown Pants

Funny story: Bog Theives Cause Brown Pants

A gang of thieves, whose blatant scummery has shocked locals, has rocked Milton Keynes, North Bucks. They've been nicking public loo-rolls, and the council is doing practically absolutely nothing about it.

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Tennis, It's a Funny Old Game

I was watching tennis last night on the telly, and I didn't quite understand what it was about. Two people just hitting a ball around, I mean come on! At least with football you have some kind of team action going on. But with tennis it's just like, what?!...

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Christians Wanted - Apply Coliseum

Funny story: Christians Wanted - Apply Coliseum

Confusion reigned in Rome today amid reports that next month's opening of the Gladiatorial Games at the Coliseum was under threat. Snuff movie mogul Theopolis Theodopholis was distraught when interviewed at his Pisa mansion. "It's not...

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Bea Arthur Eats Crowe?

Police officials in California continue to deny rumors of Bea Arthur's eminent arrest in connection with the recent disappearance of Oscar winning actor and Hollywood heartthrob, Russell Crowe.

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Hokey Cokey "not what it's all about"

Funny story: Hokey Cokey "not what it's all about"

A British scientists have discovered that the hokey cokey is not in fact what it's all about, in a report to be published later today.

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Beckham in Spectacle Shocker

Funny story: Beckham in Spectacle Shocker

David's done it again. Not content with the sarong and sexy knickers, Becks has been compelled to top them all with his latest fashion statement.

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Office supply inventor dies at 71

Funny story: Office supply inventor dies at 71

Milton Stamp, office supply entrepreneur and inventor died at his home recently after an extended illness. Stamp was well known to his colleagues, who, according to his wife Berta, were always somewhat skeptical about his ideas.

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Schwazeneggar terminates cigar contract

Funny story: Schwazeneggar terminates cigar contract

Phillip Morris is sueing Arnold Schwazeneggar for breach of contract. It seems the giant tobacco company contracted Arnold as it's spokesperson for it's new line of cigar, The Terminator.

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Pop group Steps to be Reclassified

Funny story: Pop group Steps to be Reclassified

In an extraordinary move Home Secretary David Blunkett has forwarded proposals for the cheesy pop/ novelty covers band Steps to be reclassified.

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Muse To Strike

Funny story: Muse To Strike

Poets, writers and musicians could face weeks of severe disruption if a strike by the muse goes ahead.

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Buffy goes Batty

Funny story: Buffy goes Batty

Sarah Michelle Geller was charged with murder yesterday. Geller accidentally plunged a wooden stake through the heart of the shows director.

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The TheSpoof.com Guide To Summer Fun & Safety

Funny story: The TheSpoof.com Guide To Summer Fun & Safety

With summer already here, many readers may have already been on their annual summertime excursions to the beach and held many a cookout. However, its never too late to learn some new fun and safety tips.

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'No Buttons On Moon!' cries Mr. Spoon's daughter

Funny story: 'No Buttons On Moon!' cries Mr. Spoon's daughter

The daughter of Mr. Spoon, once celebrated children's entertainer and all round friendly alien, has revealed that the moon upon which Mr. Spoon lived had no buttons.

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Wimbledon Troubles

Funny story: Wimbledon Troubles

Play at wimbledon was stopped at the beginning of this month by a drug police squad, after they had recieved an anonymous tip-off that the ground keepers at the Wimbledon tennis grounds had been growing an illegal drug on centre court.

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Scientists Crack Genetic Nougat Code

Funny story: Scientists Crack Genetic Nougat Code

After years of research, Canadian scientists have discovered the chemical make-up of nougat, the tasty, soft compound found in candy bars such as Snickers. Six years of laboratory testing have finally paid of for the team of researchers based in a se...

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Pluto whups Mickey

Funny story: Pluto whups Mickey

Pluto has been arrested following a violent fracas with owner, Mickey Mouse. The naughty dog is expected to be freed on bail with the words: "Bad dog, naughty dog, get in your basket!"...

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Ambulance Chasers R' Us will make you RICH!

Funny story: Ambulance Chasers R' Us will make you RICH!

Well, how rich do you want to be? If you are a poor, talentless, loser, then its time you consulted our resident team of cheats, liars and fraudsters at 'AMBULANCE CHASERS R' US'.

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Why not take your Christmas tree on holiday?

Funny story: Why not take your Christmas tree on holiday?

WHOPEE!! It's summer holidays again --- pack the suitcases, cancel the milk, take the dog to the kennels - big sigh of relief! Everything done and dusted! All set for fun and sun --- But wait a minute! Haven't we forgotten something?...

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Sport favours morons

Funny story: Sport favours morons

At school, sport's day was one of those classic occasions in which the strong survive and the weak get hurt and then later lambasted for it.

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License to Ill

Funny story: License to Ill

There was a time when Britain just had to worry about its raging drug problem. Now, there is a new social plague on our streets, and it is people who deal and take illness purely for recreation.

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Raging Queen

Funny story: Raging Queen

Her Majesty the Queen launched a damning indictment of the British people today.

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Old Firm to join Rollerball League

Funny story: Old Firm to join Rollerball League

As confusion hangs over their entry into the English Premiership, Celtic and Rangers have turned elsewhere in their desperate attempt to finish 7th and 8th in the league by moving to America to join one of the successful Rollerball leagues.

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Schumacher's Really A Crap Driver

Funny story: Schumacher's Really A Crap Driver

At last the secret of Michael Schumacher's phenomenal success in Formula One racing, has been leaked to the public.

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New Glue

Funny story: New Glue

British scientists have announced today that they have formulated a glue which they believe is the strongest in the world.

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Star Trek - Guilty

Star Trek fans reacted with horror today as the US Federal Court returned a guilty verdict against the show's producers over cruelty to crewmembers in red sweaters.

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Thieves Get Chatty

Funny story: Thieves Get Chatty

People who chat on the internet should be aware, a group of thieves are working the web and taking what they see. E-Crime is on the up, and the E part is only half the operation. "Internet thieves? Ha - Don't make me laugh!", I hear you cry. But don't get too complacent my dears, these people are professionals, and very light fingered ones at that! The thieves mainly target single males, who...

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Critic Sez The Media is 'Pap and Useless'

Funny story: Critic Sez The Media is 'Pap and Useless'

Shocking news for all us news fans. Some buffed-up critic called Funky Spyglass has described our television as "pap" and the Internet as "useless".

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Blair Makes Mistake

Funny story: Blair Makes Mistake

After discovering some dated literature in the House of Commons, a recent speech made by Tony Blair did not help him in beginning his new term in office well. Not well at all.

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Gypsy Mozzarella Pavement Pizza Artist To The Star

Funny story: Gypsy Mozzarella Pavement Pizza Artist To The Star

Soon to be on the lips of all, is "Gypsy Mozzarella, pavement pizza artist to the stars!"...

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'Cravens' Is NOT John Newsrounds Middle Name!

Funny story: 'Cravens' Is NOT John Newsrounds Middle Name!

In a shock revelation it has transpired that 'Cravens' is not John Newsround's middle name.

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Changing Rooms' Star House Ruined

Funny story: Changing Rooms' Star House Ruined

The presenter of the TV series "Changing Rooms", Carol Smelly, was described as "distraught, a complete mess" after vandals spent 3 weeks in her house redecorating. The sick odd-jobbers filled every room with MDF "Handy Andy...

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Tony the Tiger Mauls Pop of Snap Crackle Fame

Pop, the cheeky little fella from the Rice Krispies adverts, has been mauled to death by Tony the Tiger following years of enforced vegetarianism.

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Ben And Bessie To Marry

Funny story: Ben And Bessie To Marry

Aunt Bessie, the Yorkshire pudding millionairess and Uncle Ben, the rice magnate are engaged again and will marry next year, according to close friends.

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British Dance Unhealthy

Funny story: British Dance Unhealthy

A survey published this week has found the state of British dance music to be very unhealthy.

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John Starks ball playing days may be over

Funny story: John Starks ball playing days may be over

Utah Jazz guard John Starks hasn't been the same since his playing minutes shrunk this past season. Just recently he found out his testicle was missing.

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Steps Taken To Rebuild Afghanistan

Funny story: Steps Taken To Rebuild Afghanistan

The United States says Steps are being taken to rebuild Afghanistan. The all-singing, all-dancing group will accompany senior UN officials on a tour of the war-torn country.

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McDonalds Sued

Funny story: McDonalds Sued

Average businessman, Keith Remington, is to sue fast food chain McDonalds amid claims that food he ordered via a local drive-thru came to him without error.

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Manager "Bright tailed and Bushy eyed"

Funny story: Manager "Bright tailed and Bushy eyed"

A senior management executive is celebrating today after finally being able to comb his eyebrows upwards.

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New Salon Driven By Success

Funny story: New Salon Driven By Success

A hairdresser whose salon has won a New Business award for outstanding achievement says his success is all thanks to his driving.

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Hague re-signs after landslide

William Hague, leader of the UK Conservative party, has been forced to re-sign a personal document after he was caught in a landslide and his writing went wobbly.

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Gardener Gavin Told Off

Funny story: Gardener Gavin Told Off

Avant gardener Diarmuid Gavin has been severely told off, according to neighbours.

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Loo Read

Funny story: Loo Read

An Essex man was in trouble this morning when he ran out of new things to read on the toilet.

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To Boldly Go! - CyberSpace Travel One Step Nearer

Funny story: To Boldly Go! - CyberSpace Travel One Step Nearer

Jubilant British Cyber-physicists were last night on the brink of making the most important scientific breakthrough since man first stepped on the moon - or so they say. After weeks of painstaking research and endless fruitless experimentation, it is...

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Nightmare of unlimited free beer for students.

Funny story: Nightmare of unlimited free beer for students.

Student leaders were stunned when the brutality of the latest E.E.C. Directive began to sink in!...

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Lady hurt in gecko incident

Funny story: Lady hurt in gecko incident

Margo Beckinsall was injured this week when she tried to befriend an evil gecko.

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Vicious Vicar Bites Bishop's Bottom

Funny story: Vicious Vicar Bites Bishop's Bottom

Police were called early today to the vicarage of the church of Donny in the Wold amid reports that the resident vicar, Father Seamus O'Flannigan, had sunk his teeth into the Bishop of Brighton's bottom.

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Spielberg admits 'I was abducted'

Funny story: Spielberg admits 'I was abducted'

The director who made blockbusters such as Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind claims he was abducted by aliens before he became famous.

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Harry Potter Shocker

Funny story: Harry Potter Shocker

Magician and legend, Harry Potter, has been diagnosed allergic to magic dust.

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Revolutionary New Community to Begin Construction

Funny story: Revolutionary New Community to Begin Construction

SOUTHERN PODUNK, AL Residents of Southern Podunk will finally have the opportunity to experience all of the conveniences of big-city living when the Rensfield Development Company (RDC) opens the doors of its new residential high-ri...

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Sexy Kylie fights dirty in the gutter?

The Press Complaints Authority issued its strongest protest yet over harassment of members of the 'gutter press' by celebrities, pop stars and members of the royal family.

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Woman Shoplifted Goods In Her Eyebags

Funny story: Woman Shoplifted Goods In Her Eyebags

A woman has been sentenced to 6 months in prison for stealing over £10,000 of goods from various shops. Over the course of a year, she had been concealing items including buttons, soap-powder, and fridge-freezers in her prodigious eyebags.

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Composers To Face The Music

Funny story: Composers To Face The Music

Composers around the world are in a state of shock this morning when it was announced that no more new tunes can be written.

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"Bin Laden Most Wanted" Declares Fashion Victim

Funny story: "Bin Laden Most Wanted" Declares Fashion Victim

Fashion expert John Gaudie has said it is "quite right too" that Osama Bin Laden is the world's most wanted man. "I really want to get my hands on him" he said last night.

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Hamiltons Face Fresh Sexual Deviance Charge

United Nations President Kofi Annan issued a plea for calm today amid claims that disgraced former Tory MP Neil Hamilton and his wife Christine sexually assaulted the island of Tonganoma during an official government visit in 1993.

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Boy Stalked By Old Actor

Funny story: Boy Stalked By Old Actor

Police are to launch an investigation after a boy of 12 told them an elderly actor had been stalking him at a rugby match. The incident took place at Esher rugby ground in Surrey last month.

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War Dominates News

Funny story: War Dominates News

The terrorist attacks on America and war in Afghanistan is dominating the news so much that other important news is not being covered in the media. Government announcements, scandals and other necessary information are not being covered. This report...

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Westlife in original music shocker

Funny story: Westlife in original music shocker

Irish boy band Westlife have stunned the public by announcing that their latest album will be written entirely by themselves and will not be full of dreary ballads.

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Strike At Match Factory

Funny story: Strike At Match Factory

Yesterday, a match factory in Wick, Scotland went on strike.

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Bighand Clocks Clock Clocking Out

Funny story: Bighand Clocks Clock Clocking Out

The row over claims that NHS surgeons were manipulating waiting lists in order to comply with strict government guidelines continued today amid accusations that the clock in the waiting room of St James's Hospital, Leeds A and E department was ru...

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Heron Sanctuary Runs Up Huge Bill

Funny story: Heron Sanctuary Runs Up Huge Bill

A Heron sanctuary in Somerset has run up a huge bill.

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TheLordGodCarpets.com

Funny story: TheLordGodCarpets.com

"I know, I know," said God to Moses over the telephone. "But I had to add Carpets because someone already had TheLordGod.com."...

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NHS - Government Resolute On Overseas Treatment

Funny story: NHS - Government Resolute On Overseas Treatment

Prime Minister Tony Blair today defended his government's apparent U-turn on allowing NHS patients to be treated abroad. "We are a pan European community," said Mr Blair. "Why shouldn't patients be treated in Germany or Franc...

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Gloves Found in Glove Compartment

Funny story: Gloves Found in Glove Compartment

Bournemouth car dealer Nigel Duncan was still in a state of shock last night after finding gloves in a car's glove compartment.

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Door Slammed for Bad Behaviour

Funny story: Door Slammed for Bad Behaviour

A beech-effect internal door was slammed last night for its behaviour.

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New BBC Sit-Com Controversy

Funny story: New BBC Sit-Com Controversy

BBC bosses have decided to waste the licence fee on a sit-com based on the life and loves of Jimmy Somerville. An all-star cast has been lined up including Ian Hislop as his deformed younger sister, and Brian...

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Coffee Remains Unmade As Intern Numbers Fall

Funny story: Coffee Remains Unmade As Intern Numbers Fall

The National intern shortage worsened last night as new appointments fell for the third time in as many months.

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Floods! Don't Panic! Don't Panic!

Funny story: Floods! Don't Panic! Don't Panic!

Forget war in Afghanistan; forget AIDS in Africa; real news could affect your Little English selves! Summer's gone, and so it's time for localised flooding to take over the news. Small-scale damage will occur for a day or two in towns like...

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Microsoft apocolypse fear

Funny story: Microsoft apocolypse fear

An insider for Microsoft yesterday revealed to us that:...

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Nellie May Go Back To Circus

Funny story: Nellie May Go Back To Circus

After over 40 years in the jungle Nellie the elephant is said to be considering moving back to the circus.

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John Rocker pitches new album

Funny story: John Rocker pitches new album

Baseball reliever and bigot John Rocker has a new pitch. "If you want a piece of me buy my new CD". It seems the tempermental Rocker has a country side. His new CD, "Rock Ya to Sleep" hits stores next month.

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Foot And Mouth Crisis Thickens

Funny story: Foot And Mouth Crisis Thickens

Cumbria farmer Arthur Sidebottom today shocked the agricultural community by suggesting radical reforms as the county's farmers prepare to restock their farms following the foot-and-mouth crisis.

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Bush Calls For Mid-East Peace

Funny story: Bush Calls For Mid-East Peace

Valiant efforts have been made by world, Arab and Israeli statesmen to call for an end to violence in the Middle-East, and a return to the peace process. President Bush has led the world in saying "peace is good". Tony Blair followed by j...

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Man's Face Turns Sideways

Funny story: Man's Face Turns Sideways

A Bostonian man who always signs his e-mails with ;-) is in hospital today with a slipped face.Barry Large of Boston, Mass., reported feeling unwell late Thursday night. He telephoned is doctor to say his face felt "like it was turning sideways&...

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