Written by Paul Deacon

Thursday, 5 July 2001

image for Door Slammed for Bad Behaviour
The Door In Question

A beech-effect internal door was slammed last night for its behaviour.

Maureen Symonds, 52, of Leeds snagged her favourite cardigan on a handle and was forced to reprimand the door by slamming it as hard as she could.

It's not the first time Mrs Symonds has had to take stern action. Only last week she had to punish a coffee cup that dripped on her knee by hurling it against the wall.

The door is not expected to appeal against the judgement. "It's an open and shut case" it said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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