Written by Riaz Ali

Wednesday, 5 September 2001

image for Scientists Discover New Consonant on Mars!

Last week scientists at Jodrell Bank discovered a new consonant on Mars.

"The funny thing is," said Professor Aeiou, "is that we weren't looking for one. We were looking for seismic activity in the poles."

I remarked that my Auntie was Polish and had never indicated that her activities were seismic.

"Well," he smiled knowingly, "she wouldn't would she."

He then explained further regarding the new consonant. "It's like making an 'm' but with your tongue sticking out. We're really excited by it."

We spoke to an eminent linguist at Oxford. "Why did you bring me to Oxford," he asked. "When I live in Sidcup?"

We took him for a punt.

"Best bet is the 'Coach & Horses'," he offered. "Mine's a lager."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Mars

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
53 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more