Written by Paul Deacon

Thursday, 6 December 2001

image for Gardener Gavin Told Off
Where he works away his life

Avant gardener Diarmuid Gavin has been severely told off, according to neighbours.

The tousled-hair TV celebrity was said to be "radically redesigning" a back garden yesterday afternoon. A row erupted when an upstairs window "flew open" and Mr Gavin was told off.

Brian Priestman, who lives next door, told TheSpoof.com "I heard Gavin muttering about 'cold, hard, ribbed, steel cylinders' and the 'contextual opposition' of the metal and the grass. Suddenly the upstairs window flew open and a woman shouted down 'Diarmuid, will you get my dustbins off the bloody grass!'".

Mr Gavin said there was no concrete evidence against him. Instead, he said, the evidence had been decked with sheet-metal with zinc patio pots and a steel framed pergola added.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Gardening

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