Spielberg admits 'I was abducted'

Funny story written by Will The Thrill

Thursday, 5 July 2001

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I am the spielberg...I mean you no harm

The director who made blockbusters such as Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind claims he was abducted by aliens before he became famous.

It happened several years ago while Spielberg was in Arizona. He recalls "I felt a sudden urge to climb up this small mountain. As I reached the top I noticed a glowing object on the opposite side. Suddenly I woke up on a table with a figure standing at each side of me. One of them spoke to me mentally and said "We know you direct movies and will help you make a blockbuster, but first you will be punished for that horrible movie '1941'. Spielberg claims he was then probed multiple times.

After the probing which lasted hours, Spielberg had a microchip inserted in his brain. The beings told him it was an AMD chip which would enable him to process information more quickly. He was told that too much thinking would overheat the brain. This was a common drawback in that model. The last thing Spielberg remembers is waking up at the bottom of the mountain with only a tee shirt that read 'I'm an E.T..abductee survivor'.

After exhaustive research we couldn't.find anyone who could confirm Spielberg's story. Even the aliens who frequent the area.had no comment. One extra-terrestrial did say "We are angered by these accusations. This is just another marketing ploy by Mr. Spielberg to re-release E.T."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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