Sport favours morons

Funny story written by KendoMonkey

Friday, 9 November 2001

image for Sport favours morons

At school, sport's day was one of those classic occasions in which the strong survive and the weak get hurt and then later lambasted for it.

Sports teachers were those least equipped to teach, being as they were 'strongmen with nought up there'.

Well, now it seems that that very example has been proven to be true.

Sportsmen and women are said to be the most stupid sets of successful people in the world. Out of the hundreds of different forms of success that human kind can achieve, it seems that intelligence is least necessary if one excels at sport.

One needs only to hear the mono-syllabic and catchphrase gruntings of a soccer player ("The boys done good, it was a tough match...we wanted it the end of the day") to realise that there is something in the research carried out by Talimo Industries, Bolton.

Spokesperson for Talimo, Jon Skwales, said: "These people sound like puppets...I swear sometimes they have trouble looking around and talking at the same time. "

"They're certainly talented at their respective sports, but when it comes to having nouse enough to hold down a conversation, we can liken them to performing seals. Except instead of fish gut as incentive to perform, we give them millions of pounds."

Sportstar, Dennis Wise had this to say:"I don't know that it's true. Me and the boys sometimes, we get off the pitch, and after a bit of towel flicking, we talk about the ins and outs of the match, how we coulda done better, and what the quality of the birds were like on the terraces."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Related Funny Stories…

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more