Alabama Town Fights PAN-demic
In one US town, people have gone to extreme lengths to ensure their community's safety during the Coronavirus outbreak. In Horsesniffer, Alabama, piles of kitchen cookware have begun to build up at the local dumps, while they await incineration.
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World leaders agree that Iranian Revolutionary Guardsman accidentally picked rocket from store, accidentally put it into a rocket launcher, accidentally aimed it at Ukrainian passenger plane and accidentally fired – it was all an accident!
World leaders have refused to condemn Iran after the damning evidence that it had shot down a Ukrainian passenger jet headed to Ukraine and Canada in what appears to have been a clumsy response to the drone strike by the US military against a Quds Ge...
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New Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records
A new James Bond film is set to break all box office records. Called "Never Live Again Unless Once More Over The Eight" it sets out to give Bond a human face: Explained producer Erin Broccoli with his writer-director son Benjamin; "Well, we figured i...
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Canadian Troops At US Border
US military chiefs are in a mild panic tonight, as Canadian troops continue to pour into Manitoba, with the intention of repatriating an area of the US totally detached from it, known as the Northwest Angle. The Northwest Angle is an area - essent...
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Men Died After Eating Cabbage
In two separate incidents, thousands of miles apart, two men died in extraordinarily-similar circumstances yesterday - after consuming cabbage. The men - Thomas Jeffers, 45, of New Jersey, and Nickovitch Kuryakin, 48, from Nizhny Novgorod in Russia - were both healthy, middle-aged men, happily-married with two and seven children respectively, both worked for their respective governments, drank...
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British Woman Impaled on US Beach
A British woman was left in spasms of ecstasy on a beach at Seaside Heights in Ocean County, New Jersey, today when a freak accident caused an umbrella to impale her. Velvet Cunningham was innocently sunbathing in a two piece bikini when the beach...
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William Barr Issues New Four Page Summary; Rules that U.S. is Legally "Still a Monarchy"
Hate Crimes Should Be Designated National Treasure...Republcan Congressman states
Sea World Shame
The American Dream Is Now The American Reality TV Show
Pregnant with twins? Britney Spears and new Pakistani beau caught shopping for pregnancy testing kits! Is Al-Qaeda renting Brit's womb to make more militants? I want to have 12 warrior sons says 'suicidal' Brit.
Everyone Safe After Florida Man Guns Down Intruders
North Korea To Impose Sanctions On US
Trumps Transgender Issues
Trump bans all US citizens from entering the US
What Price 'Democracy'?
Trump Tweets (again)
North Korea Conquers U.S. during National Food Coma
Trump Cancels the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo with Mexico
President Trump signed an executive order today to unilaterally cancel the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. Under the treaty at the end of the Mexican-American War, on July 4, 1848, the United States agreed to pay Mexico US$15 million for the lan...
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Trump Vows To Ban Arabic Numerals In Case They Have ISIS Sleeper Cell Ties
In anther appeal to anti-Islamic sentiment republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has stated that he intends to rid the country of Arabic numerals for security reasons. During one of his narcissistic tirades in the middle of a campaign spee...
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France Angry Over NSA's Spies Uncovering Embarassing Research
It has finally been discovered exactly why the French Government is so upset about the NSA surveillance imbroglio. This scandal has reached a level that, according to White House insiders, President Obama is hoping for some disaster he can attend s...
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Osama, Van Halen to Tour Again
Los Angeles- American Supergroup Van Halen has announced plans to tour North America and the Middle East after a long hibernation since 1998. The question that has been bugging everyone as to who their new lead singer shall be has been answered: O...
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Stupid Slogans
You know, there is an advertising slogan so illogical and frustrating that I cannot and will not allow it to go uncritiqued anymore (I have been losing sleep over this). It is for a certain chain of restaurants here in America (maybe started abroad). The restaurant is Outback Steakhouse and it's slogan is — No Rules, Just Right.
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Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview
As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...
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Donald Trump Calls Boris Johnson His Long Lost Poodle
Speaking from the Rose Garden to reporters today, Donald Trump congratulated Boris Johnson as his selection as Prime Minister of Great Britain. "I don't really understand what makes Britain great since they lost our colonies, but I think that's fine,...
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Prima facie evidence we're not fastening the gates of the asylum properly
Mr. Trump has tweeted General Flynn's resignation was due to his speaking too kindly to Russia. Plus Mr. Pence was upset about it. Mr. Trump added his position toward dialogue with Russia does not indicate "softness" toward Russia. That was...
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U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.
With the advent of a new bill that has mysteriously made its way through Congress to become law, the U.S. government has, to many minds, permanently dissolved itself and binned its own constitution for keeps. The Bill, hastily presented and passe...
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"Made in America" Remember the American Indian whose single tear represented litter in America? Whose tears are now being shed because so little is "Made in America"?
If you are a baby boomer you do indeed remember the American Indian who shed a single tear of sorrow because of those who thought so little of America as to blatantly toss garbage and trash in the streets, fields, and parks of this great and proud land. If you are too young to recall that famous public service TV reference to protecting America's beauty then I'm sorry to tell you, those who sh...
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Rebranding Rebrands as Self-Determination
Responding to the pushback against the increasingly commercialized nature of our society, rebranding has rebranded as self-determination - to fabulous results. "Self-determination is blowing previous marketing models out of the water," said market...
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US Gun Runners Arm the IRA, Drug Cartels and Dick Cheney's Hunting Parties
The US of A has been the world's largest weapons dealer in the post World War II era. War! What is it good for? has been answered by American capitalists with the rousing refrain: Absolutely Profitable! And so the armaments industry has rolled ou...
Read full storyFunny America Headlines
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President George W. Bush has Blue Removed from Flag
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Britain declares war on America
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Latest Bilderberg Conference Under Way
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US Congress and Senate Do a Runner
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Kim Jong Un Warns Russia and The United States Not To Mess With North Korea or Else
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Piers Morgan To Be Replaced By Soft Furnishings
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Rosie and Dim - On the Roseanne Barr Fallout
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Trump: Kim Jong-un Handshake Injury Exclusive!
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Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.
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1980s Canadian Plot To Take Over United States Uncovered
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Who's the Bitch? The Hardest Part of Being Gay
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Katherine Harris declared Best Female Parody of 2006
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Illegal Immigration Solution Borders on Genius
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US Tests Fish Currency Program
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Team USA Disappointed With Olympic Medal Haul
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Japan To Launch An Unarmed Practice Missile Towards North Korea
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Whatever Happened to Paddy Freeman?
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God Speaks to Earth from Heaven
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America Officially Placed on Suicide Watch, After Clinton, Trump Accept Nominations
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United States to Annex State of Anxiety
