Men Died After Eating Cabbage
In two separate incidents, thousands of miles apart, two men died in extraordinarily-similar circumstances yesterday - after consuming cabbage. The men - Thomas Jeffers, 45, of New Jersey, and Nickovitch Kuryakin, 48, from Nizhny Novgorod in Russia - were both healthy, middle-aged men, happily-married with two and seven children respectively, both worked for their respective governments, drank...
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Stupid Slogans
You know, there is an advertising slogan so illogical and frustrating that I cannot and will not allow it to go uncritiqued anymore (I have been losing sleep over this). It is for a certain chain of restaurants here in America (maybe started abroad). The restaurant is Outback Steakhouse and it's slogan is — No Rules, Just Right.
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North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un Says He Has Just Cornered The Asian Womens Shoe Market
PYONGYANG, North Korea – (World Satire) – North Korea’s Rice Paddy News Agency reports that the Korean leader, Kim Jong-un hasn’t been as happy as he is now, since he first discovered his pecker (penis) at the age of 3. Kim Jong-un, who is almost…
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Renaming the US of A?
I was appalled, yes appalled, to learn, from the prestigious Smithsonian Magazine, that Amerigo Vespucci, that man for whom America was named, was a pimp from Florence, Italy--a pimp, yes a pimp, who procured women for paying clients and got a cut of…
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Pope Benedict Urges Muslims to Give Up Their Oil to Christian Corporations Like Exxon Mobil
COLOGNE, Germany (Reuters)-On Saturday, Pope Benedict XVI delivered a blunt message that Islam must give up its oil to America and Christian-Republican oil companies like Exxon Mobil. He said an improvement in relations with Islam "is a vital nece...
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America Is My Friend
LEGAL LOONEY FARM - A man who was a loyal friend of U.S. troops, and who bravely fought along side of them during the Vietnam war, will not be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. His patriotic family received the devastating news while waving smal...
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Terrorist gets surprised by the meaning of "Terrorism" in a dictionary
Trump, the new terrorist
Bush Announces New "Turf and Serf" program.
Calamitous Cartoon Capers Crisis
NRA Sues Florida
Trump stands down (and then up again)
Americans have a new crisis on their hands
Lenin's ‘Utopia' Founded on America
First Annual Dick Convention to be Held
Carla Bruni to sing for all France's state guests from now on.
Alabama Town Fights PAN-demic
"Moose Ears" - Odd Greeting Sweeps Over North America
New Orleans gets Presidential visit.
Nearly two weeks after the Gulf States were devastated by Hurricane Katrina, the President of the United States of America, George W. Bush, finally saw for himself the devastation in his first official visit to New Orleans.
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Wake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.
New York City - The nation is sleeping through the wrong American Dream, and needs only to wake up to avoid the nightmarish problems it is facing. "If you don't think you're dreaming, examine the evidence that proves otherwise," said Kilgore Trout...
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Attorney General Gonzales blames chief of staff for errors, blames children for broken window in house.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has rejected loud calls for him to resign. Instead, in a classic piece of political nastiness, he has blamed everything on the person under him, his Chief of staff Kyle Sampson.
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Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall
30 Sep 07, CLUTE, TX, USNA-- Ron Paul's presidential campaign announces its volunteers have begun paying the national debt shortfall of the United States of North America on an ongoing basis. Campaign director Jesse Benton describes the effort as...
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Illegal Immigration Solution Borders on Genius
EL PASO, TX (UPI)-U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials are finalizing plans for a new strategy aimed at resolving the out-of-control illegal immigration dilemma plaguing America's workforce, economy and way of life.
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Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview
As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...
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Grumpy Cat Will Replace David Letterman! Fans Go Crazy!
Grumpy Cat fans are going nuts over the news that their favorite feline crabby pants will take over "Late Night With David Letterman" when Letterman retires next year. The new "Late Night With Grumpy Cat" will begin in the spring of 2015 and Grum...
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If Jesus had been born in America
Bethlehem, Idaho, December 1979 - DFYS were called in by a concerned citizen who noticed that a family was staying in a barn. Upon arrival, they took into care a minor child, Jesus Nazarene, who had been placed in a feeding trough by his mother, Mary Nazarene. The intervention was not without some incident, as the boy's father, Joseph Nazarene attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by...
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New Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records
A new James Bond film is set to break all box office records. Called "Never Live Again Unless Once More Over The Eight" it sets out to give Bond a human face: Explained producer Erin Broccoli with his writer-director son Benjamin; "Well, we figured i...
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Iran's Amadinejad Makes Nice To U.S.
(Tehran) - Anti-American radical Iranian president, Mahmoud Amadinejad, narrowly escaped serious injury yesterday when a launched U.S. made missile flew off course in Iraq, entered Iran, cruised through downtown Tehran, and flew right through Amadine...
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Lego Announces Plans to Start Making Prosthetic Limbs
Earlier this week the president of LEGO America, Søren Torp Laursen, announced a plan to have new LEGO prosthetic limbs on the US market by October 2008, and the global market by December 2008. They have already produced proto-types, and say their ne...
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British Woman Impaled on US Beach
A British woman was left in spasms of ecstasy on a beach at Seaside Heights in Ocean County, New Jersey, today when a freak accident caused an umbrella to impale her. Velvet Cunningham was innocently sunbathing in a two piece bikini when the beach...
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Australia Rejects Trump's Offer of Support
Australia has rejected US President Donald Trump's offer to send help to wombats stricken by the recent bush fires. Following the news of the bush fires, Trump told a press briefing that he had instructed unnamed companies to contact Australia in...
Read full storyFunny America Headlines
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U.S. Employment up 12%
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Al Sharpton Launches 2008 Presidential Campaign
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Ron Paul Ads Visible From Space
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British Proclaim United States a Terrorist Organization. Give Washington Stern Warning about Possible Sanctions!
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Squirrel Attacks Limey In Madison Square Park
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US Ambassador to India Denies Hating US Ambassador to Pakistan
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Jesus abandons the USA on a gay day!
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Putin Makes Jerk Off Motions While Speaking With Obama
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Melania Trump Applies for Political Asylum in Mexico
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The Taliban and The United States Work Out a Camels For iPhones Trade
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Fox Beats Bush
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America Wakes Up - Rap Is Dead
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Iranians Sapping & Impurifying America's Precious Bodily Fluids.
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America's most popular sports - Rounders, Bouncy ball and Fag Rugby
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Japan Bombs United States! (again...)
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China insists that giant death ray is not a threat to US
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US Anger Over 'Fiscal Cliff'
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Donald Trump Swallowed Up By Hole In The Ground
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The United States Has Closed The US-Canadian Border
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Call It Botox For America Or The Infrastructure Bill?
