Men Died After Eating Cabbage
In two separate incidents, thousands of miles apart, two men died in extraordinarily-similar circumstances yesterday - after consuming cabbage. The men - Thomas Jeffers, 45, of New Jersey, and Nickovitch Kuryakin, 48, from Nizhny Novgorod in Russia - were both healthy, middle-aged men, happily-married with two and seven children respectively, both worked for their respective governments, drank...Read full story
You know, there is an advertising slogan so illogical and frustrating that I cannot and will not allow it to go uncritiqued anymore (I have been losing sleep over this). It is for a certain chain of restaurants here in America (maybe started abroad). The restaurant is Outback Steakhouse and it's slogan is — No Rules, Just Right.Read full story
North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un Says He Has Just Cornered The Asian Womens Shoe Market
PYONGYANG, North Korea – (World Satire) – North Korea’s Rice Paddy News Agency reports that the Korean leader, Kim Jong-un hasn’t been as happy as he is now, since he first discovered his pecker (penis) at the age of 3. Kim Jong-un, who is almost…Read full story
Renaming the US of A?
I was appalled, yes appalled, to learn, from the prestigious Smithsonian Magazine, that Amerigo Vespucci, that man for whom America was named, was a pimp from Florence, Italy--a pimp, yes a pimp, who procured women for paying clients and got a cut of…Read full story
Pope Benedict Urges Muslims to Give Up Their Oil to Christian Corporations Like Exxon Mobil
COLOGNE, Germany (Reuters)-On Saturday, Pope Benedict XVI delivered a blunt message that Islam must give up its oil to America and Christian-Republican oil companies like Exxon Mobil. He said an improvement in relations with Islam "is a vital nece...Read full story
America Is My Friend
LEGAL LOONEY FARM - A man who was a loyal friend of U.S. troops, and who bravely fought along side of them during the Vietnam war, will not be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. His patriotic family received the devastating news while waving smal...Read full story
New Orleans gets Presidential visit.
Nearly two weeks after the Gulf States were devastated by Hurricane Katrina, the President of the United States of America, George W. Bush, finally saw for himself the devastation in his first official visit to New Orleans.Read full story
Wake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.
New York City - The nation is sleeping through the wrong American Dream, and needs only to wake up to avoid the nightmarish problems it is facing. "If you don't think you're dreaming, examine the evidence that proves otherwise," said Kilgore Trout...Read full story
Attorney General Gonzales blames chief of staff for errors, blames children for broken window in house.
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has rejected loud calls for him to resign. Instead, in a classic piece of political nastiness, he has blamed everything on the person under him, his Chief of staff Kyle Sampson.Read full story
Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall
30 Sep 07, CLUTE, TX, USNA-- Ron Paul's presidential campaign announces its volunteers have begun paying the national debt shortfall of the United States of North America on an ongoing basis. Campaign director Jesse Benton describes the effort as...Read full story
Illegal Immigration Solution Borders on Genius
EL PASO, TX (UPI)-U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials are finalizing plans for a new strategy aimed at resolving the out-of-control illegal immigration dilemma plaguing America's workforce, economy and way of life.Read full story
Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview
As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...Read full story
Grumpy Cat Will Replace David Letterman! Fans Go Crazy!
Grumpy Cat fans are going nuts over the news that their favorite feline crabby pants will take over "Late Night With David Letterman" when Letterman retires next year. The new "Late Night With Grumpy Cat" will begin in the spring of 2015 and Grum...Read full story
If Jesus had been born in America
Bethlehem, Idaho, December 1979 - DFYS were called in by a concerned citizen who noticed that a family was staying in a barn. Upon arrival, they took into care a minor child, Jesus Nazarene, who had been placed in a feeding trough by his mother, Mary Nazarene. The intervention was not without some incident, as the boy's father, Joseph Nazarene attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by...Read full story
New Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records
A new James Bond film is set to break all box office records. Called "Never Live Again Unless Once More Over The Eight" it sets out to give Bond a human face: Explained producer Erin Broccoli with his writer-director son Benjamin; "Well, we figured i...Read full story
Iran's Amadinejad Makes Nice To U.S.
(Tehran) - Anti-American radical Iranian president, Mahmoud Amadinejad, narrowly escaped serious injury yesterday when a launched U.S. made missile flew off course in Iraq, entered Iran, cruised through downtown Tehran, and flew right through Amadine...Read full story
Lego Announces Plans to Start Making Prosthetic Limbs
Earlier this week the president of LEGO America, Søren Torp Laursen, announced a plan to have new LEGO prosthetic limbs on the US market by October 2008, and the global market by December 2008. They have already produced proto-types, and say their ne...Read full story
British Woman Impaled on US Beach
A British woman was left in spasms of ecstasy on a beach at Seaside Heights in Ocean County, New Jersey, today when a freak accident caused an umbrella to impale her. Velvet Cunningham was innocently sunbathing in a two piece bikini when the beach...Read full story
Australia Rejects Trump's Offer of Support
Australia has rejected US President Donald Trump's offer to send help to wombats stricken by the recent bush fires. Following the news of the bush fires, Trump told a press briefing that he had instructed unnamed companies to contact Australia in...Read full story