Rebranding Rebrands as Self-Determination
Responding to the pushback against the increasingly commercialized nature of our society, rebranding has rebranded as self-determination - to fabulous results. "Self-determination is blowing previous marketing models out of the water," said market...
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United States to Annex State of Anxiety
Not to be deterred by his failed bid to purchase Greenland, United States President, Donald Trump, recently announced that the nation will be annexing the 51st state - specifically, the state of Anxiety. "Rich in natural resources like indigenous...
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Feeling Lucky? Visit the States
Due to the unprecedented levels of gun violence in the United States, many countries have issued advisories for travel there. Visitors are warned to exercise caution and avoid places with large gatherings such as cultural events (interesting things)...
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Sea World Shame
US animal concentration camp, Sea World, have hit out at their accusers stating: “Our animals are very, very happy. Especially that whale floating on its back. That’s what whales do when they're happy, they show you their tummies. Shut up! I’m the...
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Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.
Elon Musk today threw his weight behind the Trump administration's plan to form a new branch of the armed forces, the United States Space Force. "The first troop carrier to space will be the TEZLA MACH 25!" declared Musk. "We must be ready, not on...
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Donald Trump Calls Boris Johnson His Long Lost Poodle
Speaking from the Rose Garden to reporters today, Donald Trump congratulated Boris Johnson as his selection as Prime Minister of Great Britain. "I don't really understand what makes Britain great since they lost our colonies, but I think that's fine,...
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American migrants in caravan sue Hernandez and his administration, alleging 'abuse' of 'constitutional rights'
British Woman Impaled on US Beach
Jesuits to install glory holes in confessionals; not exactly "dick in the box"
Lenin's ‘Utopia' Founded on America
Heroic Custodian Kills Osama Bin Laden
Animal Rights Activists Urge "Mercy for Mosquitoes"
The Search for the American Left
Men Died After Eating Cabbage
Paranoid Americans called "Preppers" waiting for an impending disaster open supermarkets in their cellars!
"It's Just Annexation, Everyone's Doing It!"
The Moon belongs to America
America revealed to be cause of cancer, obesity
Mass Shooting Saga
Another two mass shootings in America (250 this year. We do expect that to be 251 by the time this piece is published) have claimed the lives of 29 people, and once again the gun laws of the nation are under attack. With many calling for stricter...
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Just Another Bombtrack
The US Senate has failed in its attempt to stop the sale of over £8billion worth of weapons to Saudi Arabia. President Trump had issued a special “National Emergency Declaration” to push the sales though. The “national emergency” presumably being the...
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World Leaders To Decide On Climate Change Policies.
World leaders have come together today to discuss where to go with the policies on climate change. The meeting has taken place ahead of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change in Copenhagen next week. The meeting was held in p...
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Lego Announces Plans to Start Making Prosthetic Limbs
Earlier this week the president of LEGO America, Søren Torp Laursen, announced a plan to have new LEGO prosthetic limbs on the US market by October 2008, and the global market by December 2008. They have already produced proto-types, and say their ne...
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Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview
As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...
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New Blockbuster Bond Movie Set to Break Records
A new James Bond film is set to break all box office records. Called "Never Live Again Unless Once More Over The Eight" it sets out to give Bond a human face: Explained producer Erin Broccoli with his writer-director son Benjamin; "Well, we figured i...
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The American Dream Is Now The American Reality TV Show
There's a new flavor of the month reality show coming out every day and it's called America. Citizens are really excited because they have more opportunities to sit on the couch eating dictator tots, while watching the fly by lies become the truth ri...
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Trump Vows To Ban Arabic Numerals In Case They Have ISIS Sleeper Cell Ties
In anther appeal to anti-Islamic sentiment republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has stated that he intends to rid the country of Arabic numerals for security reasons. During one of his narcissistic tirades in the middle of a campaign spee...
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Al-Jazeera Runs Controversial Math Series
Independent media outlet Al-Jazeera is yet again the subject of intense criticism, this time not by leaders of the Iranian government or the unelected interim Iraqi government but by key figures in the IMF, World Bank, European Union and America, for...
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Trump Cancels the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo with Mexico
President Trump signed an executive order today to unilaterally cancel the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. Under the treaty at the end of the Mexican-American War, on July 4, 1848, the United States agreed to pay Mexico US$15 million for the lan...
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Stupid Slogans
You know, there is an advertising slogan so illogical and frustrating that I cannot and will not allow it to go uncritiqued anymore (I have been losing sleep over this). It is for a certain chain of restaurants here in America (maybe started abroad). The restaurant is Outback Steakhouse and it's slogan is — No Rules, Just Right.
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Grumpy Cat Will Replace David Letterman! Fans Go Crazy!
Grumpy Cat fans are going nuts over the news that their favorite feline crabby pants will take over "Late Night With David Letterman" when Letterman retires next year. The new "Late Night With Grumpy Cat" will begin in the spring of 2015 and Grum...
Read full storyFunny America Headlines
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Who's the Bitch? The Hardest Part of Being Gay
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Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout America? Gary Coleman to Run for Pres in '04
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Rice and Webber back together for 'Basra's Burning' musical
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A foreigners guide to the U.S. Election process - Part 1 Nomination
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Swiss Role in American Jam
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The Uninteresting Side of the Atlantic Convention Opens Today
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Tories up Yankee's Arse
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Common sense up to £1.95 a litre
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Americans Just Remember Wyoming Exist
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Angry Patriotic American's Say "Shut Up or Get Out!" After Ohio Man Claims All Soldiers Are Not Heroes
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Ron Paul's Excess Campaign Donations Pay National Debt Shortfall
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Iceland Renewed by American Influx
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New Terrorist Threat!
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England to be the 51st state of the USA
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Lockerbie bomber 'to be released from The White House'
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Americans Quickly Losing Faith in Politicians: Emilio Estevez Accidentally Surges in Polls
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Piers Morgan's new "America's Got Guns" T.V. series leaked
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Southern States band together to deport Zimmerman to Alaska
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The Best Dream He Ever Had
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Freedom at Last for Americans
