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Trump stands down (and then up again)

Crooners International stand proud today when President Trump announces his real calling in life and the fact he finally feels happy talking about his true vocation: Crooning. We spoke to an insider who risked his job (so we can’t say who) but nee...

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Nation Forgets Why They Are Outraged

Funny story: Nation Forgets Why They Are Outraged

In an almost-unprecedented event, the entirety of the United States seemingly forgot what it was that they were outraged about this morning. The phenomenon hasn’t been experienced since mid-September of 2013, and experts are hard at work to determine...

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Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.

Funny story: Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.

Elon Musk today threw his weight behind the Trump administration's plan to form a new branch of the armed forces, the United States Space Force. "The first troop carrier to space will be the TEZLA MACH 25!" declared Musk. "We must be ready, not on...

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British Woman Impaled on US Beach

Funny story: British Woman Impaled on US Beach

A British woman was left in spasms of ecstasy on a beach at Seaside Heights in Ocean County, New Jersey, today when a freak accident caused an umbrella to impale her. Velvet Cunningham was innocently sunbathing in a two piece bikini when the beach...

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American Independence Day: Things you missed by not staying British

Funny story: American Independence Day: Things you missed by not staying British

On 4th July 1776 or thereabouts (frankly who cares?) the Continental Congress declared the thirteen American colonies to be a new nation, the United States of America and no longer part of the British Empire. This move was in reality a massive tax dodge and to this day the American public hates the idea of paying for public services, roads, healthcare, infrastructure etc. which is why the coun...

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Fourth Of July Forgotten

Funny story: Fourth Of July Forgotten

The 4th of July, the one day in the year Americans hold in the highest esteem, has been forgotten, by one man, at least, in Battambang. The man awoke as normal this morning at around 5:30am, and went about his normal daily business, which included...

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Detention Center Horror

Funny story: Detention Center Horror

Pictures have emerged from the USA of detention centers where people desperately seeking a better life have their children torn from them and thrown into cages. Land of the Free indeed. Obviously the US President, Mr Trump, couldn’t give a flying...

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Trump: Kim Jong-un Handshake Injury Exclusive!

Funny story: Trump: Kim Jong-un Handshake Injury Exclusive!

After the historic first ever man-to-man meeting between US President Donald Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, in Singapore yesterday, Mr Trump had to request a visit from a local doctor last night after complaining of severe discomfort in...

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Men Died After Eating Cabbage

Funny story: Men Died After Eating Cabbage

In two separate incidents, thousands of miles apart, two men died in extraordinarily-similar circumstances yesterday - after consuming cabbage. The men - Thomas Jeffers, 45, of New Jersey, and Nickovitch Kuryakin, 48, from Nizhny Novgorod in Russia - were both healthy, middle-aged men, happily-married with two and seven children respectively, both worked for their respective governments, drank...

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Rosie and Dim - On the Roseanne Barr Fallout

TV creature Rosanne Barr has blamed a series of racist Tweets on a sedative she had been taking. As we wait for the judge to come back from recess in our trial (completely trumped up charges of multi million pound embezzlement, we can’t even spell embezzlement without auto correct) we had a look at what other celebrities blamed shit behaviour on. Tommy Robinson: Recently incarcerated racist pat...

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Odors from Ecuador’s Embassy in London draw some concern

Funny story: Odors from Ecuador’s Embassy in London draw some concern

Surrounded by protesters and police keeping a close watch for any disturbance, Ecuador’s London embassy is subject to new investigations. That is, observers have noticed a certain odor that appears to be coming from this noble edifice, although fr...

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Opinion: Trump V Syria

US windbag and all round walking political piss take, Donald Trump, has defended his “mission accomplished” tweet after it was ridiculed by actual media outlets. The same outlets Donald keeps claiming are fake. It always seems odd to us that a man with no political qualifications sits in a political job and calls qualified individuals “fake”. Anyway we digress.... Of course Donald authorised ai...

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NRA Sues Florida

In yet another brazen display of sticking your tongue in a plug socket insanity, the NRA have decided to sue the state of Florida for enacting limited gun control laws. Apparently the NRA won’t be happy until six year olds can buy automatic weapons s...

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NRA - National Rat Association

The NRA has finally flipped and released a video informing “every lying member of the media, to every Hollywood phoney, to the role model athletes” that their time is “running out”. With the threats emanating from an association whose revel gleef...

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Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview

Funny story: Trump sucks egg out of chicken during interview

As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...

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Everyone Safe After Florida Man Guns Down Intruders

Funny story: Everyone Safe After Florida Man Guns Down Intruders

A Florida man and his family are safe, thanks to his quick thinking, and gunning down intruders on his front stoop. "I heard a knock at the door," says Robert, a thirty six year old white male from Tampa. "I grabbed my AR33 assault rifle and went...

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Rachel Maddow is the first to interview Donald Trump after he is impeached

Funny story: Rachel Maddow is the first to interview Donald Trump after he is impeached

YAZOO CITY FCC FEDERAL PRISON - In the sweltering heat of Mississippi, feeling a lot more like lying in Deep South boiling mud rather than its stagnant and fiery air, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow and Donald Trump sat inside the cafeteria of a federal prison...

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Congress Is Preparing to Reject and Replace the Republic

Funny story: Congress Is Preparing to Reject and Replace the Republic

Congress had so much fun replacing, and reinforcing, then retaining the nation's healthcare system that law makers are considering doing the same for the entire country. The program will be called Wreck, Revise, Resurrect and Rollin' Down the River.

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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