America Loves You, Bitch

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 16 October 2022

image for America Loves You, Bitch
The Enemy of My Enemy ... Putin Is Taking Notice.

Haiti is tied to America’s whipping post. America is not a racist country. America loves you. Won’t you buy goods and services from America? They love all their allies and are willing to love their enemies too.

The USA always wants to gain control over everybody’s “hearts and minds”. America loves you.

Haiti is the bitch of the USA. It is the only nation where the slaves of the white man rose up and killed whitey and took over his entire country. Other white people in the world didn’t like this – scared the shit right outa them thinking their slave populations would get funny ideas and overthrow their cotton plantation massas … so the USA and others have been punishing Haitians ever since.

America loves you.

Putin invades Ukraine, and the world freaks out.

If Biden invades Haiti, will the world do the same?

America loves you, bitch. You wanna be a good bitch, dontca?

Big Pimp Daddy Uncle Sam is heading down to Haiti ‘cuz the American puppet dictator who rules the half-island isn’t winning the “hearts and minds” of the Haitians, so the people are protesting.

America loves you.

America doesn’t like when it’s “darky” neighbors protest and burn tires and try to take over their corrupt government and get their country back into their own control. White Americans can do it, but not brown or black non-Americans. America is the cop of the world. And we all know what white American cops do to anyone they don’t like.

America loves you.

Putin is watching. The Enemy of my Enemy is … Putin would love to get some “boots and the ground” and “hearts and minds” to have a foothold in America’s backyard. Oh shit, this is another Cold War happening … in 10 years, are we ducking and covering again? Why does time always flow in a circle? Why won’t the Eagle and the Bear sit down and let some other country fuck everything up for a change?

America loves you. With a bullet.

(Sorry. I forgot this site was about jokes. Here:

An American, A Haitian, and a Bleeding Heart Walk Into A Bar …

The bartender asks them all what they want to drink.

“I’ll have a pint of blood,” says the Bleeding Heart.

“I’ll have a pint of blood too,” says the American.

“I’ll have two pints of blood,” says the Haitian.

The bartender says: “Wow, two pints! Someone’s greedy for blood! What are you, a vampire?”

The American smiles, showing two long fangs in his mouth. “No, but I am!”

The American sinks his fangs into the Haitian’s neck and fills two pint glasses with his blood, then hands one glass to the Haitian.

“Don’t say I never buy you nuthin’,” the America says, as he downs the second glass.

The Bleeding Hearts has a heart attack and dies at the feet of the American, who then bites the Heart’s neck and drinks it dry until there’s nothing left but a lump of black cancer.

The bartender says to the American, “Damn, son! You sure like your blood! What’s your name?”

“Manny F. Destiny,” the American says.

[Sorry. Ended it with a political punchline, almost as bad as a pun!]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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