Thou Shalt Not Kill in Israel … Until the American is Off the Soil

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Monday, 30 January 2023

image for Thou Shalt Not Kill in Israel … Until the American is Off the Soil
He Just Landed -- Stop the Bombs ... Until He's Gone

U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken met with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss several topics, including Israeli-Palestinian relations.

Benny said to Antony: “We promise when we torture and kill Palestinians, we won’t do it in front of the American media outlets that come trialing in your wake. We will also ensure that no Palestinian blood gets on your nice new suit. We also promise to stop bombing our neighbors, whether Lebanon or Iran, when you are on our soil.”

However, the things Benny never said were: “As soon as you leave, we’re gonna round up a ton of Palestinians who look at us funny and butcher the living shit outa them – even kids as young as 5 or 3 or whatever – we see them as you Americans saw African-Americans, circa 1950 and earlier, so pot calling the kettle, shalom? Also, we will stop our carpet bombing until you guys are in the air and technically and legally off our soil. It’s all about soil with us. This dust … we kill and die for it and kill anyone who will also die for it, and that makes it holy.”

Enjoy your visit in “paradise”, Blinken, it’s where Armageddon was predicted to occur thousands of years ago, and Israelis and Americans are doing everything in their power to make prophecy come true.

The rest of the world … wants you killers to fuck off, and have a nice day!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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