WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump recently met with his top advisers, Kellyanne Conway, Ivanka Trump, and Cyrus Monongahela, in the secondary Oval Office. He told them that, as he was non-stop tweeting at 3:45 am, he had a visionary vision about him...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president has finally gotten around to issuing his Oval Office report on the Minneapolis Riots. He began by saying that most of the rioters were protesters, looters, thugs, punks, and some were probably real good basketball...
Washington, DC—President Donald Trump was admitted to Walter Reed Hospital on Wednesday, and has been diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder, the symptoms of which include an orange, puffy face, a predilection to sit on the toilet a...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president was talking at his press conference about what a fantastically fantastic (his words) job he is doing in semi-dealing with the Coronavirus. One of the media reporters asked him about Nancy Pelosi alleging that he h...
When we look back to the time before 2016, we find ourselves living in a world of events, which would have been inconceivable before the inauguration of Trump. Obama, whatever his faults, was a rational man who pursued intelligent policies. He was p...
NEW YORK CITY – It is no secret that, these days, there is no love lost between the shock jock and the Electoral College president. Howard Stern has said that “Cheeto Lips” has got to be the absolute worst president of all of the world leaders.
BALTIMORE – The first daughter, Ivanka Trump, was in Baltimore visiting one of her favorite cousins this week. She was asked by reporters how she was feeling. She softly asked "Why, what have you heard?" One reporter said that most of the media...
BALTIMORE – The President’s son-in-law was in Baltimore visiting his high school Home Economics teacher, Mrs. Bathsheba Boobinski. Jared Kushner, 39, said that Mrs. Boobinski influenced him more than any other teacher or professor. He commente...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president was sitting at a McDonalds with Scott Baio and Tucker Carlson, and the three were trying to concoct a story about Joe Biden having been born in another country. A reporter with Bedroom Pillow Talk asked him about...
The Coronavirus, and the new threat of an even more damaging and deadly 'second wave', has given impetus to an idea that has been fomenting in President Donald Trump's ingenious mind for the past few weeks now - facemask production. Never one to l...
NEW YORK CITY – There was a time, not too long ago, when radio personality, Howard Stern, and President Trump were as close as scrotum balls. But then the wind shifted, and they had a flagrant falling out. And now, shock jock Stern says that it...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – POTUS really had the White House news media jumping as he showed them an exercise in Ficklism 101. "The Pied Piper of The Potomac" said emphatically that the Coronavirus Task Force was over, and that it had left the building, ju...
Ivanka Trump's personal Vagazelizer today tested positive for Covid-19. The President's little temptress was furious to find out that someone servicing her so personally had contracted a disease. Ivanka Trump was not available for comment, but sou...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider, who is very close to the first daughter, has said that Ivanka is very upset and a bit on the depressed side. It seems that a highly-respected District of Colombia liposuction physian, Dr. Ferris P. Dogwood...
Like distilleries now making hand sanitizer and the big three automakers converting assembly lines from automobiles to make ventilators, Ivanka Trump has restarted her clothing business to do her part in helping America get through this pandemic (all...
(Washington, DC) President Trump recently defended his statement that Americans could help slow the spread of the Coronavirus by injecting disinfectants at yesterday’s daily Coronavirus Task Force press briefing by offering up additional advice that...
ANNAPOLIS, Maryland – Ivanka Trump, the oldest of Trump’s two daughters, was speaking before a group of Republican women who call themselves Lesbians For Trump. She told them that her daddy embraces all kinds of women. She giggled and said that sh...
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