WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump recently met with his top advisers, Kellyanne Conway, Ivanka Trump, and Cyrus Monongahela, in the secondary Oval Office.
He told them that, as he was non-stop tweeting at 3:45 am, he had a visionary vision about him losing the election in a record-breaking landslide.
He said that, suddenly, he looked in the mirror, and he saw that he was wearing a king’s crown on his beautiful, perfectly-shaped head.
He went downstairs and ate four pieces of chocolate cake, and realized that, when Joe Biden kicks his ass, he will simply declare himself to be king.
With him having the power of making Presidential Executive Orders he can simply assume the role of being America's first king.
He informed his advisers that, in that way, he will not have to vacate the White House, and will, in fact, have it turned into an English-looking castle.
His daughter, Ivanka, was extremely thrilled, as she said that ever since she was a little girl, she had always wanted to be a princess.
Kellyanne smiled, and asked, “So then, Mr. President, what will that make me?”
He looked at her, and said that she will still be the wife of the man that he hates more than anyone else in the entire world, including Robert De Niro, Kathy Griffin, Colin Kaepernick, Don Lemon, and Chang Loo Foo.