WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president has finally gotten around to issuing his Oval Office report on the Minneapolis Riots.
He began by saying that most of the rioters were protesters, looters, thugs, punks, and some were probably real good basketball players.
He pointed out that all of that misdirected mayhem was instigated by known members of Al-Qaeda, the Taliban, the Black Panthers, the Black Cats, and the Black Friday Federation of Rappers.
“The Pied Piper of the Potomac” even pointed out that his hot, sexy daughter, Ivanka informed him that one of the leaders of the insurrectional uprising was none other than noted hip-hop artist Zombie Zulu Yo.
Yo's latest song titled “Hey Wassup My Bitch?” is currently at #3 with a bullet (ahh, let’s make that with an upward pointing arrow instead of a bullet), for the obvious reason.
Donald J, also known as "The Little Peter Tweeter" added that the $73 million lawsuit that the Black Lives Matter Organization has filed against him will be thrown out by the Supreme Court within 72 hours.