BALTIMORE – The first daughter, Ivanka Trump, was in Baltimore visiting one of her favorite cousins this week.
She was asked by reporters how she was feeling. She softly asked "Why, what have you heard?"
One reporter said that most of the media is amazed at how in the world her father, Mike Pence, Kellyanne Conway, and Kayleigh McEnany can be around so many dozens of folks with C-19, and not get it.
Ivanka looked a bit depressed as she said that she is afraid that her father may already have the Coronavirus, along with a case of the Croatian Crotch Rash.
The first daughter took a bite out of her beef quesadilla, and said that there is just no way that he will ever admit it.
"Why not?" She was asked.
Ivanka paused. "Because if he gets COVID-19, he knows that Joe Biden will then win in a monumental landslide, kicking his orange butt From Bangor, Maine to Calexico, California."
She added that her daddy is such a stubborn shithead (her words), that he will never wear the medical mask for more than four minutes.
Ivanka then revealed that Melania confided to her last night, that she has had enough of his meanness, arrogance, sarcasm, and, most of all, bullying.
Melania then said that she is seriously planning on taking Barron and moving back to Slovenia, where she will resume her career as a lingerie model.