CHARLESTON, South Carolina – The audience members in the first two rows could have certainly used some raincoats as six of the candidates instantly ganged up on Bernie “The Stud” Sanders, and spit could be seen flying everywhere. Sanders who is 78...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president went in for a routine checkup and his doctors were quite surprised. One of the doctors told POTUS that he is 71 pounds overweight. Trump shouted. “The damn scales are off by 71 pounds. They must have been manufactured...
CALEXICO, California – Before President Trump left for his trip to India, he and Ivanka visited the California border town of Calexico. Trump had flown there to find out why his beautiful perfect border wall has already fallen down a total of 19 t...
NEW DELHI, India – President Trump landed at the Ravi Shankar International Airport and was greeted by a crowd estimated to be about 95 or maybe 98, including two dozen or so airport workers. It was very windy as the president waved to the crowd m...
MT. AIRY, Maryland – The president was in the town of Mt. Airy on a campaign tour. He was speaking before 196 supporters and 13 non-supporters. He told the crowd that he is making two lists and checking them both twice. He said that the first list...
NEW YORK CITY – President #45 was in the “Big Apple” for an appearance on the Sean Hannity Show. Potus had lunch with the Fox News host at a local McDonalds. Sean had a Filet-O-Fish Sandwich, and the man that Elizabeth “Sacajawea” Warren calls “C...
SAUSALITO, California – Prince Harry and his lovely wife, the Duchess of Sussex, were visiting friends in Northern California, when they were asked about Queen Elizabeth’s latest royal antics. RumorLand News reporter Ty Quickmeister informed the v...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Melania Trump has shocked the GOP world by saying that she will most probably vote for Bernie Sanders over her husband. The sensuously sexy first lady was interviewed by Kitty Segovia with the iNews Agency. When asked why she...
CARMEL, California – Clint Eastwood, who has been one of President Trump’s staunchest supporters, has flipped on “Old Carrot Face” Trump. The 89-year-old former star of the TV western series “Rawhide” and countless Old West movies, told a reporter...
LAS VEGAS – Bernie Sanders showed everyone that there is still a whole lot of fire in the old boy. He resoundingly won the Nevada Caucuses beating Joe “Blue Collar” Biden, Pete “Rainbow Britches” Buttigieg, Elizabeth “Sacajawea” Warren, and Tom “$$$”...
JACKPOT, Nevada – The 45th president Donald Johnny Trump was campaigning up in Jackpot, Nevada, allegedly the home of The Nevada Chapter of The KKK. The Jackpot chief of security, Leander F. Capote, 57, stated to the media that there were 117 peop...
NEW YORK CITY – The nation’s first daughter, Ivanka Trump, appeared with Stephen Colbert on his late night talk show. She was introduced as President Trump’s oldest and most favorite daughter. Amazingly enough, out of the 200 audience members, onl...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi texted Devin “No Nuts” Nunes and informed him that he will be subpoenaed, and he will have to show the nude photos of President Trump that he allegedly has. Nunes texted “Cupcakes” Pelosi back,...
WINNEMUCCA, Nevada – Many people believe that the town was named after Chief Winnemucca of the Paiute tribe, but it was actually named after Sylvester “Silly” Winnemucca, who was a traveling crotch elixir salesman/comedian. Donald Trump Jr., who N...
SAN FRANCISCO – Prince Harry and his sexy wife, Meghan, were visiting “Fog City”, and taking in the sites such as The Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz Prison, and the trailer where members of the 60s rock band, The Jefferson Airplane, wrote such hit song...
NEW YORK CITY – The New York Sun Observer is reporting that a reliable source inside the White House has just revealed some very interesting information. The source who will simply be known as Finola Sprywillow, 31, told the Sun Observer that she...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider has just told a reporter for The Baltimore Beacon Star that “Trumper The Humper” is so afraid that Roger Stone is going to flip on him, that, for the past week, he has been peeing in his pants. The White Ho...
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