WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president went in for a routine checkup and his doctors were quite surprised. One of the doctors told POTUS that he is 71 pounds overweight. Trump shouted. “The damn scales are off by 71 pounds. They must have been manufactured down in El Salvador.”
The second doctor told him that he had discovered a bone spur in a really weird location. “My pecker?” Trump asked. “No sir, your pee-pee is okay.” The doctor grinned and added, “It’s a bit on the tiny side, but if Melania is fine with it…then that’s all that counts.”
“So where is my new bone spur located?” Trump asked. “Mr. President, it’s located in your tongue.” “MY TONGUE?” the president yelled. He was shown an X-ray that clearly showed he had a bone spur the size of a little Cheeto in his tongue.
Trump stayed very quiet. “So tell me, doc,” he asked, “can you take the bone spur out?” He was told that the bone spur could be removed, but that he would no longer be able to tell all of the countless lies that he tells on a daily basis.
Trump thought for a few moments, and then said, “Then leave the motherf’er in!” He screamed. “If I can’t lie at least 20 times a day, I’m afraid that I’ll go bat shit crazy.”
IN A NON-RELATED STORY – Lou “The Bullfrog” Dobbs has just been voted the Most Obnoxiously Obnoxious Man On Television.