Bernie “The Stud” Sanders Captures Nevada

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Sunday, 23 February 2020

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Bernie says that when he gets through with Trump, all that will be left of him will be an orange blob of ugliness.

LAS VEGAS – Bernie Sanders showed everyone that there is still a whole lot of fire in the old boy. He resoundingly won the Nevada Caucuses beating Joe “Blue Collar” Biden, Pete “Rainbow Britches” Buttigieg, Elizabeth “Sacajawea” Warren, and Tom “$$$” Steyer.

Amy “Plain Jane” Klobuchar finished in 7th place behind Celine Dion. Buttigieg immediately sent Klobuchar a plane ticket back to Minnesota with a note that read, “Bye, bye, you mean old witch! Now go home to Minnesota and get your big butt back in the kitchen.”

Klobuchar fired back, “Well, at least I don’t ride sidesaddle, sweetie.”

“Sacajawea” Warren told a reporter with the iNews Agency that it is going to be good to be the only female still in the running.

Biden took a bite out of his tuna fish sandwich, and told her, “Well, squaw woman, you better start practicing your teepee cleaning, cause you’re going to be heading back to your Massachusetts wigwam faster than you can say papoose.”

Warren responded with a resounding “Bite me, Joey!”

When Bernie was asked for a comment on his victory, he grinned, and said, “Let me just say this about that, if I may.” He continued, “The people of Nevada, home of the Hoover vacuum cleaner, I mean the Hoover Dam, know a winner when they see one, and this old fella has got winner written all over him. And yes, Joe Biden, I do have a tattoo on my ass that reads: Winner."

IN CLOSING – Sanders is reported to have said, “And now, it’s on to South Carolina where this New England relic is going to kick me some big time Dixieland ass!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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