WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider has just told a reporter for The Baltimore Beacon Star that “Trumper The Humper” is so afraid that Roger Stone is going to flip on him, that, for the past week, he has been peeing in his pants.
The White House source that the Beacon Star is only identifying as “Bunny Ears”, said that he overheard Donald talking to Ivanka and Donald Jr. as they each were eating a Big Mac, and asking them what he should do.
Ivanka, who POTUS calls "The White House Barbie", reportedly told him to just keep on telling his never-ending lies, and keep deflecting by mentioning that it’s all just a witch hunt, a hoax, and a 'what-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg' thing.
Meanwhile, Don "The Poacher Punk" Trump Jr. simply said “Daddy, just blame it on the Dems, James Comey, Robert Mueller, Rudy Giuliani, Robert De Niro, Marla Maples, global warming, and Don “Rainbow” Lemon.”
The president gave Don Jr. a great big kiss on his mouth, he patted Ivanka’s ass, and said, “ With you two and Tiffany, I can uncolludingly say that I have three great perfect kids.”
Ivanka reminded him about Eric. Trump made a face and said, “Baby girl, let’s all agree to never mention Eric again. He’s…well you know. The boy is missing about 9 keys on his computer keyboard.”
IN A RELATED STORY – Fox News is reporting that Lou “El Chubbo” Dobbs has a second degree rash on his lips allegedly from constantly kissing Trump’s humongous ass.