The South Carolina Democratic Debate Turned Into A Bernie Sanders Roast

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Wednesday, 26 February 2020

image for The South Carolina Democratic Debate Turned Into A Bernie Sanders Roast
Bernie said after the Democratic Debate that he felt like a friggin pinata.

CHARLESTON, South Carolina – The audience members in the first two rows could have certainly used some raincoats as six of the candidates instantly ganged up on Bernie “The Stud” Sanders, and spit could be seen flying everywhere.

Sanders who is 78, but by the end of the ‘Pinata Party’ probably felt 98, ended up putting on a Carolina Panthers NFL helmet six minutes into the debate. His six fellow candidates hit him with everything but a circus midget.

Elizabeth “Little Red Riding Hood” Warren who was dressed all in red, including, as Joe Biden pointed out, a pair of red granny panties, said that Bernie had to be feeling the ‘bern’ from his toes to his tallywacker.

Sanders turned to her and said that she was beginning to look and act more and more like Donald “The Orange Douche Bag” Trump. He then said that she should really invest in some hair combs, because he’s seen a better looking hairdo on an effen ostrich.

Amy “The Whiner” Klobuchar said that Bernie nodded off three times during the debate. Sanders looked at her, and said that she has a face that only a cannibal could like.

Pete “The Kid” Buttigieg pointed out that the last time he had seen so much hostility was when Nancy “Cupcakes” Pelosi told Trump that a used condom had more personality than he did.

Mike "Money Pockets" Bloomberg commented that “Sacajawea” Warren should really see about getting a personality transplant because she has all the charm of a pantiliner.

And Tom "$$$" Steyer told a reporter for the iNews Agency that Lizzy (Warren) had forgot to shave her right leg, and noted that she had a piece of chitlins stuck between her two front teeth.

IN CLOSING – Many felt that the two billionaires, Bloomberg and Steyer, did very well, and, if they ran on the same ticket, they could eliminate the nation’s multi-trillion-dollar deficit within 48 hours of taking office.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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