NEW YORK CITY – The nation’s first daughter, Ivanka Trump, appeared with Stephen Colbert on his late night talk show.
She was introduced as President Trump’s oldest and most favorite daughter. Amazingly enough, out of the 200 audience members, only about 135 or so booed her.
She asked Colbert why in the hell his audience would boo her, when she isn’t even a high-ranking official in her daddy’s cabinet. Colbert took a sip of his scotch & water, and said, “I think that it’s probably because of your last name." Ivanka reminded him that her last name is Kushner.
Colbert rolled his eyes, and added, “Yes, little girl, but deep down in the recesses of your DNA, you are a Trump, and millions, and millions, and millions of people associate the name Trump with business bankruptcies, Russian collusion, nepotism, unpaid construction workers, racism, money payoffs to porn stars, Mitch “The GOP Bitch” McConnell, p*ssy grabbing, and lying like shit over and over and over.”
Ivanka became very upset, and said she had to leave before the hateful, arrogant, sarcastic Trump side of her came out.
She stood up and walked toward the curtain. Colbert could be heard saying "Good riddance, Barbie, and don't let the effen curtain hit you on your GOP ass."
IN A NON-RELATED STORY – Haiti has announced that it will be sending its destroyer The HS Lambi Guisado to patrol off the coast of Boston, Massachusetts. No reason was given as to WHY.