DETROIT – A spokesperson for the BLM organization, which now has over 4 million members, including 37,000 whites, has just informed the media that two out of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore were slave owners. George Washington, the nation’s…
SAN FRANCISCO – A reporter with The San Francisco Nightly Herald, Nixie Ballytuck, sat down with Roseanne Barr, or actually with what is the shell of the old original Roseanne Barr. Ballytuck described the disoriented comedian as the Roseanne Barr…
SIOUX CITY, Iowa – After following him like baby ducklings behind their mama, Evangelicals are now starting to wake up and see the full picture, the picture that has always been in front of their holier-than-thou countenances. And many of them are…
NEW YORK CITY – The powers-that-be in the NFL recently met in the Big Apple, and discussed what they can do to attract more fans to their games. Everyone agreed that, for one thing, they needed to do away with the kickoff, which is the most boring…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise move that even caught Trump’s top aide, Kellyanne Conway, and his number one ass-kisser, Sean Hannity, by surprise, the President has commented that he is considering pardoning alleged sexual predator, Bill Cosby.
CHICAGO – Many of the nation’s leading psychologists, including Harvard University professor, Galileo W. Quicksmith, have said that White House press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, is basically a female clone of President Trump. The professor said,...
Corn Shuck, Iowa – A group of very devoted evangelicals, who had been blindly following President Donald Trump, met at a Knights of Ponce De Leon Meeting Hall. The spokesperson of the group, who said his name was Marco Polo, stated that they have...
TALLADEGA, Alabama – The NASCAR Cup Series Race may have more action in the stands and in the infield than on the racetrack itself. Some of the good old boys, who carry around AR-13 semiautomatic weapons and grenade launchers, have said that no on...
PITTSBURGH – The President flew into Pittsburgh to see a specialist about a bone spur that could be forming on his tiny, little right finger. While he was there, he was asked by a reporter with the Pittsburgh Pronouncer-Telegram about the NFL seas...
TULSA – The President boasted that he had mailed out one million invitations to his Tulsa Presidential Campaign Rally. Well, it appears that about 999,300 must have gotten lost in the mail, because professional estimators said that there were only...
ELMONT, New York – Jockey Manny Franco rode number 8, Tiz The Law, to victory at the Belmont Stakes before a crowd estimated to be about 103, including two hot dog vendors, three security guards, and a stand-up comedian. "TTL", as Anderson Cooper...
MIAMI – Ever since President Donald Trump hid in the White House bunker like a little scaredy-cat, talk show hosts like Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Trevor Noah, Seth Meyers, and Conan O’Brien have pounded the “Orange Mess” with every nickname unde...
Miami – Officials with the Atlantic Coast Commission For The Control of The Coronavirus are warning that President Trump supporters attending the GOP rally in Tulsa could all be walking into a disease-infested trap. Poindexter St. Water, with the...
DUBLIN – Doolin Tipperary, the lead singer with the Irish heavy metal band formerly known as C-19, says the band has officially changed its name, and now goes by the name WD-40. “Tip”, as his bandmates and fans call him, said that when the band wa...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The President says that he has talked to several representatives with white extremist groups, and they have suggested that he declare war on the group known as Antifa. Antifa is known as an anti-white supremist-extremist group w...
NEW YORK CITY – The daughter of President Trump’s brother, Mary Trump, 55, has just published a book that the “Cheater-in-Chief” is positively as mad as a hive of bumble bees about. Mary, who is considered the nicest of all the Trumps, reveals tha...
SAN ANTONIO – Famed NBA basketball coach Gregg Popovich was having some practice drills with two of his star players, Patty Mills (#8) and Marco Belinelli (#18). The players had come to his Star Wars-style mansion and were enjoying getting a littl...
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