BILLINGSGATE POST: Fly Face, who has successfully predicted the outcome of every election since Patrice Émery Lumumba was elected as the first Prime Minister of the independent Democratic Republic of the Congo in 1960, now predicts that Donald Tru…
BILLINGSGATE POST: B. O. Plenty, the husband of Gravel Gertie and father of Sparkle Plenty, today announced his support for Sleepy Joe Biden. Sparkle was a child prodigy at the age of two. Already talking and doing chores at her home in Fontana, s…
As the Big Fight countdown counts down and the 'Scrap of the Old Guys' on 3 November gets ever nearer, a sober analysis of the two contenders shows that Democrat Joe Biden might be found wanting in his bid to gain the edge over President Trump in thi…
The Intercept has clarified its editorial policies, following Glenn Greenwald's sudden departure from that organization. In essence, Mr. Greenwald "used to be" top-notch, but has fallen to new lows of self-serving and otherwise scratching his ass.
Former business associate of Hunter Biden, Mr. Tony Bobulinski, yesterday invited Representative Schiff to a showdown and “manly resolution”. “In the old days, there was the duel,” Mr. Bobulinski (earlier an expert wrestler) said. “Today? Well, h…
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that one of the most respected actresses in Tinsel Town is asking that no one vote for Kanye West. Jennifer Aniston said that she really and truly hopes that no one out there is dumb eno…
Donald Trump likes to give his opponents silly names, thinking it will make him appear superior. Immature? Yes, but that’s where he remains, and now it’s to be expected from The Bump. Feeling superior to Joe Biden, allegedly because he inherited 4…
It is no secret that with millions of ballots already cast, Mr. Biden is ahead in the upcoming November 3 presidential election. Accordingly, he has offered a far-ranging look into coming days with himself at the helm of the United States. Tra…
It is no rumor that Ms. Clinton has stated (smiling) she is looking forward to a cabinet position in Joe Biden's presidency. Moreover, Mr. Biden's rallies have left a somewhat pallid impression as having relatively few supporters and a certain dra…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Pollsters who predicted Sleepy Joe Biden would get the suburban mummy vote were vindicated by reports that heavily-bandaged mummies were seen standing in line to cast their vote for the man who looks like he has spent the past 3,00…
A grumpy Minnesota man is concerned that a November 3 Joe Biden election victory will lead him to having to clean up his immensely cluttered lawn. Donald Crabby has been dumping his household trash all over his yard ever since Donald Trump won t…
While mudslinging spoiled the first debate and scheduling issues curtailed the second, voters appeared comforted when Republican President Donald Trump and Democratic hopeful Joe Biden engaged in a respectful deliberation about who would invite the c…
Moments into Thursday's final US Presidential Debate, Democratic challenger Joe Biden realized he'd left his dentures on his hotel room bedside table. The former Vice President could be seen running his tongue along his gums and then mumbling: "B…
The second and final debate between President Trump and contender Joe Biden will take place tonight at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. Topics include Covid-19, climate change, national security, and leadership, with moderator Kristen W…
BILLINGSGATE POST: If Sleepy Joe comes out swinging from a vine before the debate tomorrow night, don’t be surprised. The secret is out. He is receiving chimpanzee blood plasma transfusions this week to rejuvenate himself. Crack investigative r…
CBS News has just released intimate details of a new plan by Mr. Biden, who is running for the office of President of the United States. “It is very clear I am going to win,” Mr. Biden has said, from behind a double-masked lower face. Wearing t…
Ten Other Things Undecided Voters Are Undecided On. 1) Eating a Filet Mignon prepared by Ina Garten, or eating bodega Spam that expired in 1997. 2) Getting passed a basketball in a game of hot potato, or getting passed an MK3 grenade. 3) Whe…
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