A grumpy Minnesota man is concerned that a November 3 Joe Biden election victory will lead him to having to clean up his immensely cluttered lawn.
Donald Crabby has been dumping his household trash all over his yard ever since Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election. He started this procedure because of Donald Trump’s anti-environment policies. This was due to Trump’s first executive order “Garbage Out, Always Garbage Out”. The order allowed homeowners to be able to declare their yards as landfills.
A resourceful Mr. Crabby took advantage of this act, and immediately started dumping all of his trash in his yard. After 4 years, he has managed to accumulate over 2 tons of garbage. The garbage has grown to over 100 feet tall, and is impenetrable. The sanitation engineers who pick up his garbage have lauded the move, seeing as they never have to service his house anymore.
“If Joe Biden wins,” stated Crabby, “I’m screwed. There is no way I’m going to be able to get rid of the garbage. At this point, it is 100 feet high. Hell, I can barely get out of my driveway to go to work every morning. I have the Home Owners Association on their heels having a conniption about the whole situation. I should complain to them about my neighbors dumping their garbage in my yard, but I won’t. The sanitation engineers that service our neighborhood have stopped servicing the area, due to the fact that there is nothing in all the peoples’ garbage cans.”
As of press time, Mr. Crabby’s wife had started a lucrative recycling business.
