Trump v. Biden Big Fight Preview

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 30 October 2020

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The bout that will decide the future

As the Big Fight countdown counts down and the 'Scrap of the Old Guys' on 3 November gets ever nearer, a sober analysis of the two contenders shows that Democrat Joe Biden might be found wanting in his bid to gain the edge over President Trump in this decisive encounter.

The champion already has four years of experience under his belt, and knows what he needs to do to win: lie, cheat, denigrate women, discriminate against people of other races and colors, attack anyone that does not agree with him 100%, alienate everyone in sight.

He's seasoned, and a tough nut to crack; criticism, even ridicule just 'bounce' off his inpenetrable shell.

Biden, on the other hand, is none of these things. Always patient and considered, he bides his time - as his name suggests he might and never plunges headlong into anything unprepared, as his opponent does. He appears almost totally inactive in comparison, preferring to smile, rather than retaliate with punches.

This might be his undoing, however.

Fans like to see 'action' and excitement; only real afficionados like to see patience and guile, and Biden's constant ducking and weaving might not be enough against the more direct style of Trump, "The Bully", as he's known in boxing circles.

Trump's Russian coach, Vladimir Putin, says Trump is ready, and expects him to retain the title he took from Barack Obama in 2016. He said:

"It's 'in the bag', comrade."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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