Cars Spoof News

20 June 2019

Volkswagen Wins Race to Hydrogen Fuel Power with New "VW Hindenburg"

In a move which has rocked the automobile industry to it's foundations, Volkswagen has announced that it is launching a line of hydrogen powered cars years before this technology was expected to reach production. Volkswagen chief executive offic...

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Heated Auto Seats Contribute to Rise in Deadly Anal & Urinal Infections

ALBANY - The National Institute of Research on Auto-Immune Diseases released a report today citing heated seats in automobiles as the likely reason for the recent rash of urinary tract (UTI's) and anal/rectal infections (ARI's).

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Man Absolutely Nails Perfect Wave to Passing Driver

A man driving back from the dump today absolutely nailed his wave to a minor acquaintance who passed him in his car. “It was just fantastic,” said the man. “The guy drove past me, I recognized his car, I made eye contact and then gave a cool nonch...

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Cars 3 to Include First Gay Scene Between Two Cars

Cars 3, the third instalment of the highly popular Disney/Pixar Studios films about a bunch of racing cars, will feature the first gays scene between two cars in film history. In a move that will please liberals and shock republicans in equal meas...

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GM finds the cause of its ignition switch debacle

Detroit - Rabbits' feet have proven to be unlucky for what used to be the world's largest car maker. The key chain charms have been fingered by General Motors engineers as the cause for sudden ignition shutdown that could affect millions of vehicles.

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Danica Patrick Explains Her Brand New Tattoo

SCOTTSDALE, Arizona - NASCAR race car driver Danica Patrick flew into Scottsdale, the home of website domain provider GoDaddy, to meet with its CEO Blake Irving. Danica has been with the company since 2006, and her contract will expire next year.

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Opinion: If Vehicular Manslaughter is wrong I don’t wanna be right

Car horns to be toned down

Whatever Happened to Paddy Freeman?

Auto Industry Watchdog Panel Formed

Uber Death Could Be Start Of 'Rise Of The Machines'

I Am The Neighborhood Lothario

French car makers eradicate British scrap maker!

Multinational Corporation Sues Itself

An Article from Tara Palmer Dumbkinson, so Sadly Missed at the Sunday Times

Prospective Rolls Royce purchasers told to be alert

The Silence Of The Automobiles

NASCAR Legend Richard Petty Hits Danica Patrick Below The Belt and She Hits Him Right Back

Self-service at supermarket garage

Motorists can now drive themselves into Morris&Sons garage where self-service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Customers at Morris&Sons Motors simply queue for the next available inspection pit, pick up a basket containing overa...

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Madonna Sized Pot Holes Swallow US Autos Big Three

With the fall of gas consumption in the US market, tax revenue based on methane emission have fallen drastically. Pot Holes the size of little grand canyons and reminiscent of great star Madonna's erumph have surfaced below the surface of US road...

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A List of Some License Plate Slogans For 2013

The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just announced a list of ten brand new automotive license plate slogans for 2013. Winnie Leona "Tags" Tagliobissi, the commission's executive director, informed the news media that, unlike previous years, none of the submitted slogans were rejected due to either vulgarity, racism, use of foreign words, or improper grammar.

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Top 5 ways to stop a speeding Prius

1. Throw everything out of the window that can lighten the vehicle. Oops, that's if you want the car to fly. 2. Have a passenger carefully crawl out onto the hood and pull off the spark plug wires. This will shut the engine down. 3. Lean out of the window as far as possible and carefully (remember you're speeding) shoot out all four tires with your handgun. The car will be hard to steer afte...

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Driver Went Through Red Light

A motorist in the Thai capital of Bangkok was labelled with being 'irresponsible' this afternoon, after he deliberately drove through traffic lights which were clearly on 'red', which means 'stop'. The driver, who was in a jet-black 2016 Landcruis...

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Car Shopping With My Son

Okay, he's sixteen and he's relentlessly hounding me that he needs a car and his freedom and everyone else has one (and you know the story if you have ever been a parent of a teenager). He's also a pretty good kid and it would help out the transportation system at our house (and buy me a little extra sleep). So, ....I had to go talk to used car salesman. Other than politicians, reporters, ped...

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Nostalgia Recaptured: Hard of Hearing Aging Cynic Takes to the Road in Last Hurrah!

What do you do when life starts to catch up with you? When you have trouble hearing the dialogue in award winning movies on TV...when after sitting too long your knees ache and when you move the creaking wakes the dog? What do you do when after reading all the latest news you think it can't get any worse....and then it does? What do you do when you start a round of golf with 4 pars and a...

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U.S. Gasoline Falls Below $3.85 a Gallon, Travelers Temporarily Thrilled

Just in time for the Memorial Day weekend travel and the unofficial start to summer, U.S. gasoline prices have fallen below a national average price of $3.85 a gallon. Recent mandates by government officials had warned oil producers that collusi...

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A push to upgrade car alarms

Bob is annoyed that his car alarm is such a lousy deterrent. In these times of increasing crime and vandalism, he is pushing automakers to up the ante, electrifying the cars exterior, deploying a laser-guided punching bag, or some such.

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Ecclestone to Run Motor Racing at Auschwitz

Herr Bernhard Ecclestone has announced that the next running of the Race Cars will be in Poland. Ecclestone long an admirer of the efficiency of fascist dictators has become increasingly frustrated with the careless sense of time and organisation...

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Google upgrades self-driving cars in New York with robotic hand to give the finger.

In a late-breaking announcement, the self-driving car unit of Alphabet, Inc, parent company of Google Laboratories, stated they will outfit all new car models with a robotic hand to "give the finger" to other unmanned vehicles as well as traditional...

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The Queen Buys Prince Philip A Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, has reacted swiftly to try to protect the longevity of her husband, Prince Philip, by purchasing a replica car from the 1968 movie, 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang'. The Duke of Edinburgh has been involved in several scra...

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Local Mechanic has Fukushima fix

Egg Harbor, N.J. - A Mr. Ronald Cole, of Egg Harbor, walked into our news room today and announced that he had the solution to stop the leak at Fukushima. "They'll never stop it with the diapers and bath salts they've been using. You can bet your bippy on that one," Ron laughed at me, sucking on his pipe. When I asked Ron what he would do he told me it was simple. "It's simple, chief.

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Panic at The Vatican as radio announcement says 270,000 priests to be scrapped

There was panic in the Vatican yesterday and their switchboard was ringing non stop after radio broadcasts apparently announced that 270,000 priests were to be scrapped. Thousands of priests phoned in thinking they were losing their job of represe...

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