Hybrid Cars Still Butt Ugly

Funny story written by wadenelson

Tuesday, 16 August 2005

image for Hybrid Cars Still Butt Ugly
Styling: Not so much.

Beverly Hills - Hybrid cars get great gas mileage and qualify for generous tax rebates, but the current crop is "Butt Ugly" according to fashion designer Tommy Hilfinger. " When you own a piece of automotive art like a Porsche 911 or Lamborghini the left lane is where you show it off. Nobody wants to look at these hideous hybrids, much less get passed by one."

Acknowledging that Toyota's Prius was designed primarily for "function, not form," Kaiser Soze, Toyota's North American spokesperson apologized profusely for the unappealing looks of his firm's current leading seller. "For some reason it looked better in clay" he said softly. "We shall make great improvements in 2007 model, ok? The engineers somehow got control of styling this Prius and what you see is the result. I cannot deny it brings tears to my eyes."

Honda's Insight, which looks like a cross between a suppository and an AMC Pacer, fares no better according to Style magazine editor Christine Jones. "A car makes a statement about it's owner" says Jones. This one says all the wrong things. Girls generally want to to drive cute cars - VW Bugs, Miatas, and other convertibles. The only boys this car is going to attract are nerds who want to look under the hood."

Dennis Rodman, recently sited for a filling station drive-off in Glenwood Springs Colorado, when asked about Hybrids and saving fuel, simply chuckled, and climbed back into his 9 m.p.g. Lamborghini.

As gas prices continue skyrocketing towards $3 per gallon, more and more people (Rodman asides) are apparently willing to forgo appearnces in favor of once-a-month fillups, and a couple of new "D" cells now and then. "My Hummer got exactly 13 miles per gallon" said Gary Coleman. Until 'Diffrent Strokes' goes into syndication it's gonna stay parked out back and I'll be driving a Tercel.

"Legally Blonde" actress Reese Witheredspoon, asked about hybrids, had this to say, "Like, no-way! They're hideous. Besides by only filling my tank half-way each time it doesn't cost me nearly as much!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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