Traffic engineers slowing traffic flow with perpetual red lights

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Sunday, 23 May 2021

image for Traffic engineers slowing traffic flow with perpetual red lights
With lights perpetually red, traffic is at a standstill

Frustrated motorists are asking why but no answers are yet forthcoming. Over the past week as we emerge from the COVID shutdown, the eastern half of the United States is at a traffic standstill.

For reasons still unknown, all traffic lights in most northeast metro regions stay on red for an estimated 95% of the time. Reasoning for this, if any, has not yet been determined

Phone calls to municipal traffic management offices have gone unanswered and it appears many local government employees are still working from home to avoid possible exposure to disease..

Intersections especially have become flashpoints for chaos and/or horseplay as drivers sit staring across at each other until they eventually crack and resort to property damage, violence or complete loss of senses. There is no end is in sight to this dilemma.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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